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-   -   Told girlfriend that I love her! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=174379)

  • Jan 19, 2008, 10:50 PM
    jshrckstar
    Told girlfriend that I love her!
    So, I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 months now. After about the second month I started to realize that I was falling for this girl. I didn't say anything at the time because I was unsure if I was really feeling these kinds of emotions. Well, I did realize that I do feel this way about her, and so I ended up telling her in a mild way. I told her that "I feel for you more than just caring" Now, I'm not sure if she knew that I meant that I've fallen for her or not? Anyway, I told her this and she really didn't say too much. So, I went out for a smoke, cause I obviously felt like an idiot! :) I came back, and she said that she isn't sure if she is feeling those same feelings for me. So, I asked her if she wanted to be with me, and she said yes. Soo, she doesn't want to break up with me, but she's not at the same level? Am I missing something, or is she just not there yet? I know not everyone feels the same at the same moment, but is this a problem, or will she feel these things in time/if at all?
  • Jan 20, 2008, 01:49 AM
    dniemiera
    Take it slow. Its only been 3 months. Get to know each other better and then if you still feel the same way then let her know if she says she doesn't feel the same but still wants to be with you respect her answer. Give it more time and see if you still feel the same way. Take care and be safe
  • Apr 1, 2008, 10:13 PM
    butterfly2
    Hey you did it better than my boyfriend... he was drunk!! She will come around... give her time.. Love is a hard thing to admit
  • Apr 2, 2008, 06:22 AM
    nickshehe
    I'm probably going to get people disagreeing with me here, but I usually choose where to post because I want to speak from experience..
    You sound kind of young so I'm going to go back and relate here..
    Males should never show how they feel, first.. I've had this conversation with a lot of people, mainly girls as well who have always told me that they would scare whenever a guy told them that he loved them.. (This goes to say that the girl hasn't "committed" in that way yet - so the guy went first).. I fell into the same trap when I felt comfortable in my relationship after 9 months and I showered her with love, it turned her off.. Though before that when I was more laid back and cool with the relationship she was all over me.

    Whatever the case, you told her and you can't take it back.. But its no big deal I would just advise against bringing up the topic again.. Don't pressure her into asking her how she feels all the time e.t.c Just let things be and go with the flow.. When she feels ready she will tell you, she doesn't need to hear it from you first.
  • Apr 2, 2008, 08:00 AM
    tink8321
    The last post isn't true for everyone all women have different views and feel differently.
    3 months is quite soon just give the relationship a bit longer I feel in love with my partner that I have been with for 8 years after a month I just knew it was right but I didn't say straight away as I was scared of scaring them away.
    You will know how she feels by the way she is with you give it a bit longer and bring it up again its really manly to have the man make the first move as its normally the women so it makes it that extra special too. Good luck
  • Apr 3, 2008, 07:59 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    So, I've been with my girlfriend for about 3 months now.
    A very young relationship, still getting to know each other.
    Quote:

    "I feel for you more than just caring"... she said that she isn't sure if she is feeling those same feelings for me.
    Understandable, as your still strangers to each other. Your falling a lot faster than she is so slow this train down some.
    Quote:

    Soo, she doesn't want to break up with me, but she's not at the same level?
    Or isn't ready to say yet as your still strangers.
    Quote:

    This a problem, or will she feel these things in time/if at all?
    There is no problem your trying to move her to fast and she has told you quite honestly she isn't that sure where this is headed as you are. Slowdown, relax, drop the who feels what, and enjoy the getting to know each other. Whats the hurry? Slow down, be patient and see how you both feel in 6 months or so. Its way to early for what you want, so regroup, and don't push it.
  • Apr 3, 2008, 12:32 PM
    workedtoohard
    Here's advice from a tactical niceguy: Pretend like you never said it. She will wonder why you aren't saying it or pushing the issue, that will spark her interest, and maybe she will end up saying it to you. Its all about returning the balance of power back to your side. Its not like she is going to forget that you said it, so fight the urge to bring it up.
  • Mar 23, 2010, 11:28 AM
    dontknownuthin

    You told her your feelings when you were ready, on your time. She's not ready to say the same back yet and it won't mean anything if you feel you had to ask. Make sure you have balance in your life - don't let a girl be your focus. Hang out with your friends, be with your family, take care of school or work, etc.

    If she feels the same way, she needs to let you know but she won't if she feels like you're going to immediately shift into overdrive and have all sorts of big expectations if she just lets you know she's feeling something for you.

    You can assess where she's at by her actions. Don't ask if she's in love with you but feel free to ask her on a date.

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