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-   -   I'm so confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=174375)

  • Jan 19, 2008, 10:34 PM
    jenn_797
    I'm so confused
    So I started dating this guy. Things were great, he's mature, has a good job, is great with my daughter, we talk on the phone for 4-5 hours a night. We had similar backgrounds (bad childhoods and past relationships). Things were going great. Then he said that he noticed me pulling away. I was trying to work on it and we talked about it. Then he said that he thinks we should just be friends. I told him that I had too many feelings involved and I didn't think I could do that. So we didn't talk for about a month.

    Then things slowly started building back up to were we where before. I started to feel myself feeling more for him. He even made plans for the summer to take a trip with both of our daughters. But when I mentioned something to him about "us" he said that he wasn't ready for a relationship and that he was hurt too much from his last relationship and that he didn't feel that he could be reliable enough to be my someone special. He said that he's too afraid to get his feelings involved with someone. He said that he cares about me and values me more than I know. And that he hoped that we could still be friends. I left it at that because I didn't know what to say.

    He called me the next night and we talked again for 4 hours. I have a lot of feelings for him and am afraid that I will be sitting around waiting for someone who has no feelings towards me. But then I have a friend who was in his same situation (bad relationships) and she said that I need to stand by him and wait it out if I think he's worth it. I think that he is worth it. But it's a big chance to take. I don't know what to do anymore.
  • Jan 19, 2008, 10:40 PM
    hollylovesbrandon
    If he's so hurt from his past relationship then that would definitely his hesitancy. Just let him know that you are there for him and understand his feelings and will be there for him when he's ready to open up. Don't lose contact with him or anything, just allow him space to think things through.
  • Jan 19, 2008, 10:46 PM
    Wondergirl
    I'd develop the friendship. It's too early to think about commitment forever. Have fun together and get to know each other first.
  • Jan 20, 2008, 06:32 AM
    jenn_797
    This whole thing started 7 months ago. I think we have developed more than a friendship. I'm not asking nor do I expect a commitment forever at this point.

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