Ask Me Help Desk - What's wrong with me

I have been in a relationship for about 3.5 year just a year and a half ago, my other half cheated, I found out, and ever since we been trying to work it out. How can I work it out if he continues to call this person. The excuse he gives is we are just friends. Not according to the things I heard on the voice mail. Now I happen to go through my cell phone bill and notice he is still calling her. Even on the day he took me out for my birthday. Now he said he thinks we need to take a break. I agreed. The hard part is I want to move back to Pennsylvania, and I think he will stop me because of the child we have together. Can he stop me?

I do feel for you going through what you are.

It would be helpful to have a little more information from you here concerning this. Did he sign the birth certificate as being the child's father?

jstbrea,

I take it you are not married? In that case he cannot stop you from moving away, unless he tries to get a court order to prevent you from leaving. He may be your child's father but he has very little say in where you choose to live with your child. If it comes to it don't tell him. Simply say that you are taking a break too and going to stay with some family members. Don't let anyone keep you trapped in a place where you don't want to be, even if you have to fight tooth and nail.

I'm so sorry to read what your going through. Being betrayed by the one you love is the most hurtful thing to experience. If you see he still talks to her it's a clear sign that he must still be with her. I would not be able to accept even the friendship, all communication should have been lost. He should have tried to give you the world after breaking your heart. The only way the father of your child can stop you is by having a court order that you can't leave with your child besides that your free to go. It might be a good change for you to get away from the hurt. Unfortunately easier said than done. When you open your eyes on your own you will know what's best. Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jstbreal

i have been in a relationship for about 3.5 year just a year and a half ago, my other half cheated, i found out, and ever since we been trying to work it out. How can i work it out if he continues to call this person. the excuse he gives is we are just friends. not according to the things i heard on the voice mail. now i happen to go through my cell phone bill and notice he is still calling her. even on the day he took me out for my bday. now he said he thinks we need to take a break. i agreed. the hard part is i want to move back to Pennsylvania, and i think he will stop me because of the child we have together. Can he stop me?

First no, you may be trying to work it out, but your partner is not, If he really wanted to work it out, he would stop all contact with this person, of course they are his friend, they are having sex and most likely still having sex since they continue to talk and message.

And of course he can't stop you, unless there is a child custody order in place that says you can't move, you are free to go anywhere you want now. After you split and you get a court oder for custody and support then there can be restrictions.

So you want to get a court order of custody ASAP.