In limbo so advice would be welcome.

My sister went through a pain full divorced and being her sister I was there for her I went through a break up myself and she wasn't there for me, she has since met a bloke there getting married I wish her well but she is now all loved and married up and now me and her don't hve any interactions this I found hard so things came to a head and I said to her I don't know her now she's become selfhish and in fact I won't b going to her wedding . We hve never had a cross words in all our life but now I'm thinking if I don't go she well never 4 give me but really I don't feel like I want 2 go now as there is so much coldness between us. I'm going with my thoughts and feeling .Am I right 2 do this..

It sounds like you feel that you gave her more than she gave you, so now you're punishing her for it. If your relationship up to now has been as harmonious as you say, you're probably being kind of childish and over reacting. If you have deeper hurts and resentments to resolve, this may be your cue to get started on it.

That's your sister! Go to the wedding, when you do things for people from your heart you should not expect anything in return.

I agree 100% with ordinaryguy you need to talk to your sister before the wedding and tell her that you are sorry you over-reacted. Explain to her that you were just jealous that she never has time for you any more and it hurts and you don't want to ruin your relationship over it.

Benlou is right too.

She's your sister. You should be there for her big day. If she's always been there for you in the past, then you need to forgive her for being wrapped up in her own happiness and not being there for you like you think she should have been in your time of need. None of us are perfect, we all make mistakes, but family should always stick together.

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Originally Posted by ladyred123

advice would b welcome.
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Am I right 2 do this ..

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No, you're not right 2 do this. You're being petty and childish and vindictive. I don't think you really want advice. I think you want us, your audience, to agree that your sister is a selfish, heartless b!tch who deserves to be shunned.

But even if she's every bit as bad as you say, the way you're reacting to it is childish. There really is no substitute for forgiveness. Every day you put it off is a wasted day as far as your "sister support" is concerned.

Oh I thought you were trying to find a way to make amends and try to start over.
You say you did have a good relationship other than you giving more that she did.
I said jealous, I guess hurt would have been better.
Everybody will look back to your not going to the wedding as you being the one at fault
And having the wrong attitude. They won't look back to the day of her wedding as, "Too bad Ladyred couldn't be there because of her sister treating her so bad." They will look at it more like, "Her wedding and her sister had such an attitude against her that she couldn't even be there for her big day."
You asked if you were wrong for not wanting to go but it seems like you already have your mind set on not going.

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Originally Posted by N0help4u

Oh I thought you were trying to find a way to make amends and try to start over.
You say you did have a good relationship other than you giving more that she did.
I said jealous, I guess hurt would have been better.
Everybody will look back to your not going to the wedding as you being the one at fault
and having the wrong attitude. They won't look back to the day of her wedding as, "Too bad Ladyred couldn't be there because of her sister treating her so bad." They will look at it more like, "Her wedding and her sister had such an attitude against her that she couldn't even be there for her big day."
You asked if you were wrong for not wanting to go but it seems like you already have your mind set on not going.

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Thanku yeah its is hurt like I said I wish her happy ness its not only about the wedding only itsmore her being a stranger to me that's hard 2 get my head around.I,m from nursing back ground of 25 years so it not that I'm a hard women I know you are right in what you say but How can I play Happy sisters day.I will just hve 2 go on that... things hve a way of sorting themselves out. Thank u 4 understand where I'm coming from xxwish u Well

Talk to her well before the wedding. Tell her why you felt hurt- that you did not feel she was there for you when you divorced and that as soon as she was over hers, she seemed to forget about you. Tell her that hurt your feelings.

That's what this is about. I'm sure you want to go to the wedding, but you don't want to be hurt. The two things are both legitimate feelings. Give her the chance to understand and know she may be defensive at first. Including an apology for telling her you didn't want to go to her wedding is pretty important - that's not a very kind thing to say and you should not have said it. If you explain you said it because you felt hurt, and didn't mean it, she will likely forgivfe and forget and you can move on as sisters.

Thank u Lacuran... I would like 2 add I wasn't very well at the time in health and did explain to her why I made the comments no I know I shouldn't hve said these words and that I would go but still haven't heard a thing also my other sister has said she felt the same as she wasn't there for her as well. It seem,s when things were down with her she didn't hve 2 face it on her own I was there but what vibes I'm picking up now is I'm not letting anyone with there get in my way of my life now. Its all up in the air and I know time will work things out but until it does it remains like this.

Darlin, she's hurt you. She hasn't been the supportive sister that you need her to be. She has lost respect in your eyes.

But...

She is your sister.

One day, hopefully soon, she will realize what she has done and will be sorry for hurting you - for not being the sister that you needed her to be. Once your relationship gets back to where it should be, you'll be very sorry that you didn't go to the wedding.

You may not agree with her, you may be furious at her, but I really believe that if you don't go to her wedding, one day you will sorely regret it.

Just some thoughts, hope they helped.