I have a friend who has a perfect life, perfect face, body, has guys chasing her, a great at home life yet she admoits to cutting herself with pride. I ask her if anything goes on she can tell me but she says that she does it because it's a new expirience. I'm really scared for her, no matter how much I try to convince her she just shakes her head and says I worry too much! I really am scared for her. Should I tell her parents? Should I tell a shrink? This is crazy.

Hi Smile,
How long has she been doing this? Have you seen the cuts or has she just told you about them? If you have seen them, do they look very deep or are they in places like over arteries or other seriously dangerous parts of the body?
If you haven't seen any cuts, and have only heard about them, are you sure that she's actually doing this to herself? She might be saying this as a cry for attention. Even if this is the case, it's still a good sign that she needs attention. Teen cutting is becoming more common, and even if there's no intention of suicide it's still a bog concern.
Maybe try talking to your friend more about it. You could also try asking a counsellor for advise, but try not to name your friend unless you think she's in serious danger, as she might think that's a betrayal of her trust.
Keep and eye on her.
And take care of yourself,

Kal

Thanks and you I've seen them. She's been doing it less . But she still does it..

Smile, As a person a woman who used to cut as a teen I know just how dangerous this can be. It can start small then get worse A LOT WORSE!! I know you are worried about betraying her trust and everything... but I think that what is more important is her safety. If you truly are worried about her then you need to tell an adult. Her parents your parents a school counselor, The counselor can keep it confidential who told them on her. I think that it might be best to get some help in there.

I cut for many years. I am 20 now. I started at 15 and cut clear through until I was 19. I still have urges. It is hard... she will probably need counseling.

You MUST let someone know, she may try and talk you into trying it, or may get carried away with it and no longer be around to be your friend. Kind of like the old drinking and driving commercials, you know, "friends don't let freinds drive drunk". Well, I think your slogan for your friend should be, " friends don't let friends hurt themselves". Please make an adult aware of this dangerous situation.

Tell your parents. They can help you let the right people know. You may feel like you don't want to betray her, but the best thing to do for her is to tell someone. She needs to get help before something worse happened. As someone who lost a best friend to suicide a year ago, I'm asking you to please help her. If something bad happens, you will always feel horrible because you didn't tell someone. In my case, I did try to help my friend, but it was too late. I know it wasn't my fault, he was mentally ill, but I still wish I could have told someone sooner.

Well where I live cutting is totally normal (that's park city). Personally I don't like seeing people abuse themselves but you should try talking to her about other ways to stop. You should try hooking her up with a guy. :) I helped bring my boyfriend out of depression and he's a completely, happy guy and we've been dating for almost a year! (our anniversery is really soon)

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Originally Posted by smile22

I have a friend who has a perfect life, perfect face, body, has guys chasing her, a great at home life yet she admoits to cutting herself with pride. I ask her if anything goes on she can tell me but she says that she does it because its a new expirience. im really scared for her, no matter how much i try to convince her she just shakes her head and says i worry too much! I really am scared for her. should i tell her parents? should i tell a shrink? this is crazy.

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You need to tell her parents even if it is done annonomously (sp). Sometimes it is fad, sometimes it is for the pain and they feel relief afterwards. Either way, it is dangerous and addicting for some.

Hey smile
I know it's a hard situation. I use to have the cutting problem and I've seen a lot of other people that have too. I've seen different reasons people do it. I think with your friend, she might feel that she needs more attention and is going out a different way for it now. I would just day to you, don't really stress it. She'll relize what the expirience is like and will move on to something else. Try explaining to her how pretty she is and all that good stuff and cutting is going to end up ruining the looks of her arms. She'll be forced to wear long sleeves all summer and have people bugging her every day about why she's wearing what she's wearing and all that crap. Guys will look at her a little differently when they see her arms. I wouldn't suggest telling her parents just yet unless you see a real sign of suicide or something like that. If her cuts just look like cat scratches (I've seen that before) don't worry about the whole thing.

The thing with cutting is that you do it because it makes you feel better, even if it does this momentarily, and although your mate may seem perfect to you, she may not see herself this way. Cutting becomes a coping mechanism used because a person doesn't know how to deal with other things going on that stress them. Its actually quite rare to cut for pure attention; it could be a call for help. I personally wouldn't tell there parents, maybe find a teacher that you or she trusts, and talk to them about your worries. I say this as I do it myself, my friends told my lecturer who now also my counsellor. She'll thank you for this in the end.

Take care

U shood really tlk to her andreally sit her down, tell hwer she's being adiffernt person. If that doesn't work tell her paretns , its forher own good.

Tell her stop right away its not an experience you want to get into even if you depressed if your mind becomes addicted to it, it will take forever for you to stop getting the urges if everythings fine why should she cut unless she want attention and that's not a good enough reason to get yourself in that mess self mutilation should not be used under any circumstances

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Originally Posted by KalFour

Hi Smile,
How long has she been doing this? Have you seen the cuts or has she just told you about them? If you have seen them, do they look very deep or are they in places like over arteries or other seriously dangerous parts of the body?
If you haven't seen any cuts, and have only heard about them, are you sure that she's actually doing this to herself? She might be saying this as a cry for attention. Even if this is the case, it's still a good sign that she needs attention. Teen cutting is becoming more common, and even if there's no intention of suicide it's still a bog concern.
Maybe try talking to your friend more about it. You could also try asking a counsellor for advise, but try not to name your friend unless you think she's in serious danger, as she might think that's a betrayal of her trust.
Keep and eye on her.
And take care of yourself,

Kal

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My friend is cutting herself as well. She says it helps ease the pian, but it doesn't. She going through a lot, but her life IS worth it. She has parents who spoil her rotten, a big house. Money when she wants it, a horse. It's my friend, the twins and I, and the twins don't really TRY and stop her, they just let her get on with it. Should I let her get on with t too, or should I be more worried about it. I told my science teacher, who I can talk to, but she didn't want to tell anyone because as you said, it's a betrayal of their trust, but under a child protection thing they had to. My friend wsn't too pleasesd, but she doesn't understand how worried I am. She promised she's stop, and on one wrist she did, but the other she continued, she's cut her veins twice now, and it's really annoying, I'm worried about her. What can I do to get her to stop? Can somebody PLEASEhelp me before it's too late, I starting to doubt myself, It's driving me insane, :(

If you have tried and tried to tell her to stop, then you should tell someone. Are you sure she's all right? Cutting herself is a really dangerous thing and not something to be proud of. You should tell her that you are concerned and want her to stop harming herself. If she still carries on, contact someone close.
AdviceAngelx
Help when you need it the most
PS. Please note that this is just advice, your actions don't have to relate to it.

I think you should tell her mom the mom's knows what to do.

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Originally Posted by smile22

I have a friend who has a perfect life, perfect face, body, has guys chasing her, a great at home life yet she admoits to cutting herself with pride. I ask her if anything goes on she can tell me but she says that she does it because its a new expirience. im really scared for her, no matter how much i try to convince her she just shakes her head and says i worry too much! I really am scared for her. should i tell her parents? should i tell a shrink? this is crazy.

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Hey Smile,
Your friend sounds to me like if she is telling people openly and will admit to cutting she is the 2nd of the two types of cutters. There are the ones who cut themselves in hard to see places and never tell a soul; and then there are people who do it on the wrist or arms or even face! They want attention more than anything and they are scared of what might happen if they lose the people who want to keep ahold of her. She isn't crazy but she might want someone specific to notice her. Are there any problems with her parents and her or was there abuse in her life? Just don't confront her about the cutting for attention for it could lead to more pointless self mutilation. I myself was the 1st type of cutter and I want unnoticed almost till about my Jr year of High school where one of my friends noticed a small blood stain on my pants where I had been cutting the night before. I denied it and tried to hide it but she was too smart and told the nurse and it all went to hell for me for a while. But I got help and it was a life changing experience and I think your friend might need someone to bring her to that new light.