Every time I tell this story, people look at me like they can't believe how cruel someone could be, but I was hoping someone has dealt with an alcoholic enough to help me out.
My ex boyfriend, I heard was an alcoholic, but he didn't drink that much around me when we were together. He said he loved me and wanted to live with me ,marry me, etc. called me every day when I couldn't see him, we were making plans together for the future (that he pushed for really) Then he started not coming to see me as often and I heard he was getting "bad" again. Now we talked on the phone everyday... but - you ready for this - one night had his 21-year-old daughter answer his phone (and her friends too) pretending to be another woman answering his phone. She also private called me and tried to act like she was another woman also. Any way, my ex boyfriend, never broke up with me himself, he never has called after that to say I'm sorry or to tell me what happened. I tired to call. I wrote letters for closure. He lives with his parents, who wouldn't put him on the phone either, even when I told them he should talk to me himself and tell me what happened. I heard he has turned it around and made me to look like I called too much, I'm a stalker. He was seen out and drunk recently talking very loudly about me and laughing at me?? (I'm assuming he is feeling maybe some guilt, since he's talking about me?? ) It has been 7 months. I'm doing better but cannot get over this all the way. I have prayed, researched alcoholism, looked on Al-Anon sites...
Someone, please tell me how I quit feeling like I did something? And also, can the disease just make them do such a cruel thing to someone and they never feel any kind of remorse or guilt to say they're sorry? Will he some day? All I want is one conversation, tell me what happened. I don't understand why he couldn't say anything to me or us remain friends... Oh, so sick of wondering and so sick of crying and feeling bad.
I know he's sick.

Alcoholics are so in denial with everything that I doubt you can get him to admit to anything.
They are alcoholic because they can not deal with issues. Expecting anything from an alcoholic is like an oxymoron.

Sometimes the best "closure" is being strong within yourself and who you are and realizing that others can't take that away.
Don't beat yourself up over him it isn't worth it yourself worth is more meaningful than any reasons he could ever possibly give you.

I'm really so sorry that you have to had to go through all this. But consider yourself lucky at this point, anyone who would use his family is a louse! When I was you... I ended up still believing, married the guy, prayed, hoped, stalked as you call it... and had four kids, that I alone, ended up supporting in the end. Now that your techinically out of the situation, move your concentration to positive things, your old friends, books, movies, museums, more education, exercise, anything that will move your mind in a positive direction. Forget closure. He has a illness, he won't even think about how you feel, cause he can't. So, please... Move one and consider yourself lucky.