Okay, I'm toes up in bed with pneumonia for a little under a week already. I'm going to be here for quite a while, I hope! As opposed to dying! In 2005, I ended up being on bed rest from February through mid June.

For years my wife has wanted to know if I could build her a Victorian style doll house with a wrap around porch. Certainly, I can do that, no big deal.

Same question was put to me yesterday. Instead of seeing the impending danger, I said sure. Duck, Don! Here comes a box of, tongue depressors? What are you screwy lady. I know I have an infected throat, that's why I'm so grumpy! Are you delusional?

Slow down, you are falling off the edge of the world here, what the devil do you mean this is my first shipment of lumber for what? A, what? I'm going to do what? when? Are you taking my meds? What are you laughing about, you are not making any sense. Wait a minute let me leave the room for a minute or two. I've got to get my head reattached.

Okay, now let me understand. Since I'm lying here on my death bed you thought it would be a nice time to have me honor (hum, that's a big word for me) a repeating promise to me build you a doll house that you have always wanted.

Dear lady, do you not see my death bed over there? Wait a minute, did Cosby or Newheart put you up to this?

I'm to do it using only tongue depressors but I can cut them and modify them any way I want. Who said I wanted anything to do. Where is this mouse that keeps putting such strange words in your mouth. Excuse me please, I'M SICK.

I had this really strange conversaton with the weirdest person I know. Apparently during a previous night of moaning and groaning and abject suffering an agreement was struck for me to do start a new hobby (I think I'm being Shanghaied here) to build a dollhouse out of tongue depressors because I said I can do it! WHAT A DUMB REASON TO DO SOMETHING!!

Any body know where I can get my hands on some plans and any idea where I can get some doll house sized cutting tools? But first I need plans, where on the net can I find them?

Very amusing, I hope you get well enough to do this project, please look at this site:

Dolls House

Tickle,

Are you for real? I just called sweetie pie, butter melts in her mouth at work and told her to visit the link you sent me. She refused to.

According to her, her ever-so-loving husband said he could do it even though he obviously had no idea on this planet what the lady of his life was talking about, once again.

My mouth said it so I'm stuck with only using tongue depressors or other sticks. I can't buy a kit nor can anyone send me parts or pieces. I can get any advice and suggestions, I cannot get out of bed until the doctor allows me to.

It must be work of my own doing. Dirty words.

Well, I guess I need to start thinking! Designing, ugh, that's a way off.

Me and my smarty pants mouth! :)

I will really give this some thought, donf, to help you out of your jam. Stiff upper lip, fella!!

Good morning,

Not much to think about, really. I got caught in a medically induced state, cough syrup, and a years old procrastination was tossed on the bed, so to speak and like the dumb male I can be at times, I bit with gusto. Now I'm hooked.

My wife doesn't particularly like me to have idle time on my hands. So she comes up with sneaky ways to keep me busy over and above the "Honey do list." That's how she claims I missed my mid life crisis. I was busy at the time.

Anyway, to the task at hand, I did some thinking last evening and since I have no idea on general sizes of doll houses, are there any pre-set scaling definitions I can make use of?

I'm pretty sure that I can bond the sticks together using wood glue and then trim them to fit lengths and widths as needed. Electrical appears to be nothing more than a 12vdc system, that's very easy to design and I've got tons of small gauge wire I can use.

But initial size and elevations (outside appearance) are blanks for me. I looked at the site you sent me and I'm curious, where did the wallpaper come from? Is it just an art mock-up or is it for real?

As to the purpose of the dollhouse, I was told this morning that my lady would like to put period furniture(?) in it and have it swing open (?) for display. Are these normal requirements?

My previous about of dumb mouth is going to cost me dearly, isn't it. May I continue to ask you questions or would you prefer to just watch and laugh as I cut first and re-measure later? You woman folk can be so tough on us poor innocent blameless guys!