Hi I am writing this to ask for some advice my son who is only 14 and he is very aggressive and he is on cannibis and he got arrested today and they told me to find some councilling for him as they think it is to do with his dad dying 4and a half years ago but I didn't think it was so could you give me some advice please please he has drug dealers after him for a 1000 pound and he has had a gun up to his head twice and we got the police involved but my son is not very forthcoming and he has been beat up 11 times its getting worse am I a rubbish mum as at the minute I feel crap

If your son knows such big time drug dealers that they can go after him for 1,000 lbs and has had a gun up to his head twice... your son is up to his neck and in more trouble than you even dream at this point.

Pot normally does not make a person aggressive. If anything smoking pot you would over eat and fall asleep. Your son is obviously on some other kind of drug. My guess would be meth, crack or some other speed type drug that he got from his drug dealer friends.

If he is not in jail right now, he will be and will be for a long, long time. You need to realize this is a serious situation for both you and your son and can only get worse.

Your son does not want to cooperate as he is probably part of a gang and once you are in a gang, the only way out is death period. Where do you live? In the Los Angeles area? South Florida? The police want to help but they cannot go after the drug dealers without your son's help and your son knows if he squeals he's essentially dead and you may be also as this is the gang mentality.

Please try to understand this is not your fault. You son got involved with some shady characters and was easily sucked in to their world.

You need some outside help NOW from professionals who can help keep you and your son alive until you can move away from this area and the drug dealers.

I agree with the above post you need some professional help and to move out of the area. I can't comment on gangs as I live in the UK but I will say that although your son may have moved on to harder drugs, pot can make people aggressive my younger sister smokes a lot and it affects everything she does. She is aggressive, lacks confidence, steals and has no motivation - and I know she is not on anything harder, she started smoking after our mum died and she was a similar age to your son. In the long term I really think you need to find him couselling, you may find he depends on drugs for reasons you may not even know about. Good luck

Sounds like a real crazy situation.
You can't talk to him if he's on drugs... he won't listen or will hate you for suggesting anything like getting help. So first things first get him clean, it dosen't matter how put him in a program, send him to a different school whatever works. The next problem is the people after him, do they know where he lives? This could put your life in danger, I'd suggest moving or sending him to another family member for a while, maybe if you can go too otherwise he'll cause some problems for your family. Moving will also get him away from his 'friends' and make it harder though not impossible to find a new dealer.

Make sure you talk to him about his problems, tell him that your there for him but that his dad would be dissapointed in him, that you know he can do better.
Make sure he knows that you love him and then tell him what you want him to do to get out of that stuff before it's too late.
I hate to say it though... if he goes to jail maybe he'll understand---jail stinks drugs are what got me here, I shouldn't do them.---and he'll be better off. After all he's only a kid, it may be able to scare him straight.

I have a 14 year old son who has fefused to go to school for quiet a while. He does have behavior problems. He doesn't like authorite,he doesn't get on with teachers, he's aggressive, he's been in trouble with the police. He's on youth offenders at mo. We attended a meeting with education which they decided my son would be re admitted to school in September. He had set to prepare himself for that. The education officer came out yesturday and said my son had to start today, which has set him right back and is now refuseing to go. He has been told 1 thing and then told something different. Which he can't handle. He has a 16 year old brother who has A.D.H.D, I have tried to get him assesed so many times, were do I go for help with this ?