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-   -   Girlfriend problems (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=172697)

  • Jan 15, 2008, 12:00 PM
    studmuffin2
    Girlfriend problems
    My girlfriend said she needs some space to think if she wants to be with me or not I use to yell at her and make her cry that's why she said this is happening and she said I needed to change I told her I would and she said she still has to think we been going out for 2 years and this never happen before she said she still loves me but she needs space... is she going to break up with me:confused:
  • Jan 15, 2008, 12:21 PM
    Romefalls19
    She wants you to prove you mean that you will change. Actions speak louder than words and that is what she wants to see. I know this because my ex did the same thing, only I was too jealous and my words fell short, she wants actions. As for breaking up with you, nobody knows but her.
  • Jan 15, 2008, 12:55 PM
    Jessie V
    I've said that I needed space before and I've been told those words before too. I agree she wants you to prove that you will change rather than just say you will. If you use to yell and make her cry then you need to look at yourself and maybe this is a good time to figure out if you really want to be with her because if you are making her cry then you may need to find out what is making you yell at her. This in turn can make her uncomfortable and if it does not stop then why would she want to stay in that situation. Sometimes breaks are good for relationships. But you would need to sit down and think then go and talk to her.
  • Jan 15, 2008, 01:05 PM
    Romefalls19
    Good one Jessie... It is hard for one to realize that a change is needed, but even harder to prove that one can change without just using words. Words don't mean anything if you can't back them up.. Don't think it's going to be a short break either, expect a couple weeks or a month. Change doesn't happen over night, but you need to get help with it. I had too and still am
  • Jan 15, 2008, 01:22 PM
    peggyhill
    I agree with the previous posts. She wants to see if there is action behind your words. Do as she asks, give her space, and hopefully she will give you another chance. It you two decide to give it another shot, maybe talking to a counselor together, or even individually, will help you communicate better with each other. It may take her a little while to make up her mind. Good luck and hope everything works out for you.
  • Jan 15, 2008, 01:41 PM
    BMI
    Just keep away from her for now. She wants space and so you give it to her. Done and doner.

    Saying someone needs to change is a common break-up line. In your case it may be that or it just have been an excuse to end things. Change for yourself, not for her, not to win her back. IF you feel you need to work on things than do so in private, not with the hope she will see the"new" you in a month.

    Don't communicate with her until she decides what she wants.
  • Jan 15, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Romefalls19
    Well said BMI... Change will only work in the long run if you do it for yourself and no one else. What I did was write down a whole list of motivational put downs people said about me not being able to change my jealousy. Such as "You'll never change" "You'll always be alone" "just give up" things to get you fired up to prove everyone wrong.
  • Feb 16, 2011, 09:44 AM
    Sperto88
    Verbal Abuse is painful when getting hit by it. Some girls/women don't want to get yelled at and makes them think that you are capable of doing this on a long term. Lighten up... Trust is a big issue and if your girlfriend doesn't trust that you will change and be more soft spoken then yes.. she will break up with you. Give her some space, send her funny/cute messages here and there, and when she is ready to talk to you tell her your feelings. I made the mistake Verbally Abusing my ex and kept insisting I would change but never gave the space to actually taking the action to change. Time is our best friend when it comes to taking breaks and hearing those dreaded words of a breakup. Best of luck and remember to keep your cool. Be sweet and the old you that made her want you so badly. Don't sink too deeply to never get out..

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