Hello!
Im new and want to introduce myself! Would love to try and help advice others with their problems .

This I'm sure will seem like no biggie! But for me it is!

Ive recently been dating a Mr Don Juan! He is 38yr, so hot and so much fun!
Im shocked to see how much this guy actually seems to like me, spend time with me
etc.. I thought I would be a 5min bit of fun and Adios.

Then there's is Mr nº2 32yr old. That has come along. Much more of a long term, trusting kind of
Man. This one also likes me lots. And I like him too.

My head is screaming forget Don Juan and stick to nº2.
But my heart screams Don Juan!!
Is this just because I know he´s Don Wrong? At 38, will he ever change?
They don't know about each other, it is still early days. And I don't consider myself a girlfriend to either one, but I still feel guilty! xx

Any advice? Thanxx

I think you should go for option #2, let's call him 32. I like the sound of him. And I don't like the sound of 38.

But, no one knows you better than yourself. What do you want from a relationship? And can either of them deliver? Because you mentioned long-term, I assuming you eventually want to settle down.

Don Wrong isn't going to change. Period. A single 38 year old hot sexy man has MAJOR ISSUES stamped on his forehead. You see it, but don't want to accept it. They're pros (kind of like emotional con men) at making their women feel awesome, just like he does you, and then disappear when they have had enough. You're still fresh, and he may stick around for a while more. But don't delude yourself--this will not end well unless you nip it in the bud soon, before you get emotionally attached, which you don't seem to be right now. If you want an emotional rollercoaster, to be whined and dined, salsa dancing, and presumably great sex and the like, go with 38. But don't expect substance, because I am 99.9% sure there won't be any.

If you want the possibility of love, tenderness, family, happiness... then go with 32. Because that's what he seems to be: a normal, kind of ordinary guy, who may very well surprise you with how passionate he can be down the line. He's an opportunity right now, a blank slate, for you to discover. Someone you can't pigeonhole, like Don Juan. Note to self: avoid men who fit into categories.

The choice is really up to you. Good luck!

First what is the reasons for your dating, if you are dating merely to have fun, go out and do not wish to move on to a more seroius relastionship. Does it matter, if you are looking for a possible long term partner, the traits for that are not always the same as a person who is a great party person.

Allswell! That is really clever advice, makes total sense. Thank you!
At the thought of not seeing Mr wrong again, makes my tummy hurt. But this feeling will pass. I will try and give it a good shot with nº32. As I do want to settle down one day and have a family. (Don Juans baby's would have been so cute, oh well... lol. Stop it! Out of my mind.. )xx

OH GOSH! Im trying hard to ignore Don Juan. He has just texted to say he has cancelled a weekend trip that he has been really looking forward to, because he just wants to spend more time with me (holly crap! Nooooo, I'm supposed to be dumping you) I work a day job, but also work nites in a pub. He has even offered me a key to his house, so I can go and sleep at his when I feel like it. Does this man really like me? Or like Allswell says, I'm just fresh and exciting for him right now.
I forgot to mention in my 1st post. This man even has a JACUZZI IN HIS BEDROOM surrounded by candels. Err.. how many young ladys have been in that tub? Boo! Love/lust is complicated. I think he is pannicking because I've been a bit distant, and is coming up with ideas to woo me again.

Sounds like your Mr Don Juan is not worth a penny. You're attracted to him and I suppose he's attracted to you but he seems to be nothing but a hot self-centered dude. He's nothing but looks...

For your sake, please go for Mr. 32

Yes AWess. Mr Don juan is very self-centered, he has told me he wants to settle down, I will wish him good luck.
Im going on a mini break weekend with Mr 32, I'm really excited about gettting to know him better. I hope I don't get distracted by sweet txt´s from Don Juan.
I did´nt mention before but Mr 32 was married for 11years! He has been single for only 9months (no kids), he stopped loving her 3years ago apparently. He has had 1 girlfriend before meeting me.
How can I stop feeling attracted to Don Juan? If I start a sexual relationship with Mr32 this weekend, I won't go back to the other one. I can't be sleeping with them both. But he is still on my mind and my phone. I get stomach flips when I get a text. And always secretly wish its Don Juan.. how bad is that.

Hi guys! I thought I would update you on my messy love life (No longer a triangle, so that's good.)
But guess what! Im a total nutter, I realized after my mini break with Mr 32. That it just was´nt going to work, my feelings are stronger for Mr Don juan. It wouldn't be fair to drag him along just in case I have a change of heart.
So I've been dating mr Don Juan, I see him twice a week, I know his friends and we always have great fun. I look at happy couples with family and think, ah! I want that.
But I guess I'm just not ready.. I know he was the wrong decision, but I just didn't fancy the other one enough.
Im hoping Don Juan will outgrow me. If not I will outgrow him, and then I can move on.
In the meantime, Salsa dancing, hot sex and yes the odd emotional headache involved.
How can two people that get on so great, where there is so much attraction between us, not seem to lead anywhere? Im afraid if I make a small change to forward things. He is going to run a mile is´nt he?
Anymore advice would be much appreciated. Thanxx

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Carlym2

how can two people that get on so great, where there is so much attraction between us, not seem to lead anywhere?


i guess im just not ready.. I know he was the wrong decision, but i just didnt fancy the other one enough.

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I took the liberty of flipping around your own question with your own answer.

Darlin, the reason why your infatuation with Mr. Don Juan doesn't seem to be going anywhere is because you admitted that he was the wrong decision.

He's hot. He's fun. He has a jacuzzi in his bedroom... (btw, wow!)... He is the classic Hollywood movie heartbreaker.

You passed over something that you knew could have been a permanent possibility - a real relationship - for an infatuation that you said was the wrong move. Hon, you're not ready for a solid, real relationship yet.

But that's OK. You're happy being Miss Donnetta Juan. At this time in your life, that's what makes you happy. It seems that you are being honest with yourself and the state of your fling with him... and that he is being honest with you.

You're right. You'll probably tire of each other and one of you will move on to the next hot infatuation. Don't expect a commitment from Don Juan because he's not going to change.

When the time comes that you are ready for a real, true, I'm-yours-you're-mine, trusting, mutually satisfying, solid relationship you'll find the man that is just as ready.

Miss Donetta Juan, I like that. Yes thanks Chick! You are right.
Im just as bad as him (Well not as bad, I have no jacuzzi in my bedroom)
But I do seem to jump from one to another, carefully and not breaking hearts. I get bored easy, or freak out when they start thinking its OK to hang around for breakfast and play with the dog. Don Juan is the only one that's keeping me excited.
Im clearly not ready to settle down quite yet.

Your young single and free, and uncommitted. Enjoy it have fun, and don't sleep around, and keep your life balanced, with something other than men. Why can't you date whom you want, and when you want? What good is it to be young, single, and free, if you can't enjoy it?

You ask if #1 will ever change. What needs to change?

Well when I ask if he would ever change, I mean will he ever settle down and stop playing the field, I would consider very much standing still with him. Im sure he will in time. I guess my question is would he settle for me.