My son has just announced he is getting married. They live in a different state and the parents plan on having an engagement party for them and we are planning a party
In our state also. My husband does not want to attend the party for the brides family in another state because he feels it is the bride family and friends and we should not attend and he does not expect them to attend our party here when we have ours. What is the etiquette for engagement parties and guest.

I would say if you lived near each other then yes I would say go. But since you live in a different state I would say you do not have to go and you can throw your own party. But I could be wrong I am not the best when it comes to such social things.

I agree with Spitvenom.

Engagement parties are nice but by no means necessary. If its difficult to travel, don't worry about going. Just nicely explain it to your son and don't worry too much about it. Once the bridal shower(s) and rehearsal dinner begin that is a different story.

If you can go, it would be a lovely gesture and the right thing to do in support of your child. If you can't go, it would be understandable. Just don't let on to anyone that you aren't "chosing" to go.

My Parents are throwing my engagement party(in Missouri) and we made sure to have plenty of time to tell his family ( In Texas) so that they had the option to come. If his parents wernt coming and threw there own engagement party my family would be offended. Just saying.