We've been living together for about 8 months and engaged forr almost a month. There have been a couple incidents where he has blown up on me. And there is the everyday yelling at me.

One time I caught him in a lie and called him and confronted him about it he freaked and threatened me not to come home because he would be dead when I got there. I called the police.

Another time I went out with some friends and came home drunk with a friend and he yellled and cried so we walked 2 miles to her house

Another time we got into it in the car and he swerved fast and said next time he would hit the wall and he put his hand up like he was going to hit me.

Another time we ewren't getting along the whole day because of another incident and he asked me what I wanted for dinner and I didn't know and somehow it became this huge argument... He ended up throwing things, banging his head into things, he punched himself in the head HARD and I grabbed my phone and he said if I called someone he would hit me. So I sat and listened to him blame everything on me so I got up and I was just going to lay down in bed, then he told me if I got up he would leave and never come back so I sat down and asked him t o stop yelling and he kept screaming at me shut up over and over


When he gets mad he punchs walls, throws things and headbutts things. He yells at me like a little kid. I love him, but every time stuff like this happens he cries and apologizes.
He gets mad when I want to go out with out him. I don't have a car right now and I not in school right now and he thinks that when I am I will leave him.

Leave him now!! Nothing else needs to be said.

Your boyfriend is unstable and has some serious anger problems. Time for you to look for greener pastures! Move on!

You've only been with him for 8 months. If this is what is happening already, it can ONLY get worse for you! Coming from someone who didn't get out soon enough, trust me please. Don't wait until you have bruises and broken bones to confirm if he is abusive. Physical abuse STARTS with verbal abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, and only escalates from there. Please, please, please get out NOW! Unless this man gets some serious therapy to find out why he is so angry, you need to leave and preserve your safety! Take care of yourself first! :)

You have a psycho on your hands, and he will kill you one day. He is way beyond abusive, he is dangerous.

Do we think he will be abusive? I'd say there is pretty strong agreement that he already is.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You have a psycho on your hands, and he will kill you one day. He is way beyond abusive, he is dangerous.

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She sure does have a phycho! I completely agree with you. I hate to hear young girls that get in that kind of situation and think that it's something that they did?! I was in that kind of situation myself and had to learn some VERY hard lessons. It just breaks my heart when young girls think that someone like that will change... maybe when they get married?. maybe when she has a baby?. a 1 in 100 chance! Very sad!

Hi there

Hope your well, OK let me put my perspective on this right now. Do you want to be an advertisement for women that they should tolerate this kind of abuse from men. He seems like he has extremely low self esteem, and some very deep seated psychological problems, he doesn't want to take responsibility for his own behaviour. Hence sometime these men when they are emotionally or physically abusive and violent to you, they make you feel as the guilty one. He perceives you as weak, since you seem to be letting him get away with it. He wants to control you, and your letting him.

Yes I know you love him, I have come out of an emotionally abusive relationship with my ex-girlfriend, women tend to attack emotionally. I loved her, however there is a line. I walked away because I saw the early symptoms of what was going on. You need to be strong and be an advert that this kind of behaviour will not and should not be tolerated by any woman. Its also a clear message to men. If your not careful this will get worse and worse, yourself esteem will get lower and lower, and when you do finally leave him, you will not be able to handle a good man who will treat you with love and respect. Your sub-conscious mind will be programmed to be comfortable with abusive men. That's why women go from one abusive relationship to the next, never quite settling down, losing all contact from friends and families. Lose him or you will lose yourself. You are stronger then him and he knows it, he just doesn't want to you to know, and hence his abusive behaviour, so he can control you, he wants you to be weaker then him so he can control you. He will do this by constantly knocking you down, and making you live in fear of him. Show him that you have figured this out, and use your strength and walk away. Now!

Oh by the way when you do walk away, he will beg, plead, cry and really play with your emotions and make you feel guilty. Walk away, and remember by walking away your helping him learn, and grow. Why? Because he will question himself, and hopefully work on himself, because he lost someone he loved. Now he will then come back and say, I have changed. Perhaps he has but not in terms of how in interacts with you. He knows he can get away with it, the moment you say OK honey lets get back together I love you. Help him by walking away. If there are self esteem issues on your part, and that makes you go back to him, then you also need urgent counselling now to get rid of the problem, otherwise you will continue attracting these kind of men. I really hope my words are not being wasted here for both your sakes!