Ask Me Help Desk - Ettiquette

This is my first post on this site, but I want immediate answers... so hopefully this will help me.

My 3 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son went to a neighbors house tonight. My friend babysat while I went to a class. (she has a 5 yr old son... all 3 play great together) anyway, my friends kid took out his new toy (60 dollar toy) to play with it, and I guess that all went well until the end of the night, cause before we left, her son came into where we were crying about how his new toy was broken. I guessed it had to be my 3 yr old, cause she is destructive at times, and also it couldn't be the 5 yr old it belonged to, cause he would say he broke it if he had. And I KNOW my 9 yr old didn't do it. (not to mention, there were tiny pieces shred all over the floor) my 3 yr old denied it at first, but I think she eventually confessed.

So, now my question... should I replace this toy? It is a 60 dollar toy. I don't let my kids drag out those kinds of toys with other kids around if I don't expect them to be broken by the end of the night... but that's me. Also, it wasn't like my daughter got it out from somewhere and played with it / broke it. It was in his bedroom, where they had been playing right in the middle of the floor. I have already offered to pay for part of it, but should I just replace it altogether? I'm rather stuck on what to do... help!

Thanks... Jennifer

If your gut feeling tells you that your daughter broke it, then I would replace the toy. Hopefully, the price has come down since Xmas. No need in having bad blood between neighbors. Especially if you tend to need a spare babysitter on some occasions.
Ace

If my son had the toy that was broken I wouldn't hold any other kid or parent responsible... if its out in "public time" its fair game...

That said, if my son broke another kids toy... I might be thinking as you are... like maybe I owe another toy or at least a gift card or something...

No perfect answer. How did the parent respond?

If its at all an issue, id try to replace it or buy a gift card that is comperable in price. If the parent takes it, they think its reasonable. If they don't, they'll likely appreciate the gesture.

eBay can have some great deals if the price is an issue...

If you decide to do nothing about it, I don't think its wrong... I just wouldn't expect the child to be invited again... though some parents would be understanding.

I agree with kp... the gift card sounds like a great gesture to me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenbail9804

this is my first post on this site, but I want immediate answers...so hopefully this will help me.

my 3 yr old daughter and 9 yr old son went to a neighbors house tonight. my friend babysat while i went to a class. (she has a 5 yr old son...all 3 play great together) anyway, my friends kid took out his new toy (60 dollar toy) to play with it, and i guess that all went well til the end of the night, cause before we left, her son came into where we were crying about how his new toy was broken. i guessed it had to be my 3 yr old, cause she is destructive at times, and also it couldn't be the 5 yr old it belonged to, cause he would say he broke it if he had. and i KNOW my 9 yr old didn't do it. (not to mention, there were tiny pieces shred all over the floor) my 3 yr old denied it at first, but i think she eventually confessed.

so, now my question....should i replace this toy? it is a 60 dollar toy. i don't let my kids drag out those kinds of toys with other kids around if i don't expect them to be broken by the end of the night....but that's me. also, it wasn't like my daughter got it out from somewhere and played with it / broke it. it was in his bedroom, where they had been playing right in the middle of the floor. i have already offered to pay for part of it, but should i just replace it altogether? i'm rather stuck on what to do...help!

thanks...Jennifer

I would replace the toy... and I would have the child work it off in chores at home. Even a three year old needs to learn about responsibility and respect.

She didn't say she was mad, and didn't really act like it either... she was rather busy consoling her son. She kept saying that it was an accident. I did offer to contribute to its replacement should she choose to replace it, and told her that she needed to let me know if that was what she was going to do. I still feel really bad. He probably got it for Christmas, which makes me feel worse. For now, I am probably going to sit on it and just wait. Next time I see her I will more than likely bring it up and see what she did... I might check into the replacement cost too. I kind of feel like :"what ever is out in plain view is fair game" but at the same time, my daughter didn't have the right to tear up his toy. I guess I would not even be questioning it if she had sought it out herself and took it out and did that. I would replace it no matter what. I kind of feel like his mom should bear the brunt of some of it, because it wasn't put away or supervised while they played with it though. This is such a catch 22 for me. I keep thinking if the shoe were on the other foot, what would I want to see happen. I would probably want it replaced too... hummmmm, maybe I just answered it for myself. Maybe a gift card or what I think is a fair amount for us to dish out on it... probably 45 dollars... since it was a 60 dollar toy. Sound fair?

Thanks to everyone who responded...