Ask Me Help Desk - She dumped me

It's finally come to an end now I think.. don't really know why I'm writing this, think I need to get this sh*t off my chest.

My girlfriend of 8 months dumped me for the second time now in 1 week, this time she probably really meant it.

One week ago when we were out in a club she was there with a friend, and I was there with my friends. Anyway, after an hour and a half I searched for her in there because I missed her and I wanted to be with her a few minutes. So I eventually found her but she just turned away and said "I'm going dancing" and then walked away from me, I was really sad and disappointed. I wouldn't ever turn my back and ignore someone I love like that.

The same thing happened three times that night, she turned her back on me and ran off while I just wanted one minute with her for a kiss. So later on after she had neglected me for three hours I confronted her and asked what was wrong, then she said that she was just going to go and say bye to her friends who were leaving - I suspected something was wrong so I followed her out, and much to my dismay, she was leaving with them. Anyway, I ran up on her and asked where she was going? Because earlier that day and night we had agreed that she would come with me home and sleep at my place. She was embarrassed and finally agreed to follow me home anyway.

I asked what was up and finally that night/early morning she admitted that she wasn't in love with me anymore, but she still loved me. Then she also said that she didn't think that we were meant for each other.

I was really sad and then the next day she had changed her mind and "took it all back" and felt regretful. I accepted it and a week passed, now yesterday, we were out again, and she did the same thing, and then right there next to the dancefloor she just said to me "It's over", and went back to her friend and giggled, then they went dancing like nothing had happened!. can't describe how fu**ing humiliated and sad I felt. Then later that night she wanted me to come home with her anyway, but I didn't have any cash for the bus, she just said like "No problem, I have money". Then when we got to the bus stop she just said "I think it's better if you go home to your place and I to mine" And refused me the money for the trip while all of her and her friends stepped on the bus and left me in the cold, I'm so bloody pissed right now I don't know what to do. I can't believe I wasted my precious time on her.

Was it OK to act like she did? She couldn't give her own boyfriend who had been looking for her for like 20 minutes one kiss/hug, but instead, she walks away and stays on the dancefloor with her friend for 3 hours neglecting me? Should I really put up with that? I wouldn't dream of turning my back on someone I love, I can't believe she would do that to me! I mean.. I asked for a few minutes, not like I wanted to be with her the whole night.

NEXT! That's what you need to say to her... There are a few things that relationships are built on, and the one she's really missed is "Loyalty". She's not loyal to you. She's displayed this in public on a number of occasions, time to get rid of her and find someone who actually cares about your feelings.

Time to finish this game once and for all - NC and get back to living YOUR life.

Hey Craig,
Wow, that's pretty rough. She definitely has no right to treat you that way. She's playing with you and seems unconcerned with your feelings. You need to ask yourself if it's really worth wasting time on someone who treats you so badly.
The answer is no.
I know it's not pleasant being dumped, and I don't know how strong your feelings are/were for this girl, but there are many other girls out there, and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone who you can care about and who cares about you.
All the best,
Kal

Wow dude, what a horrible way to end a relationship. I'm sorry buddy, it must be rough. Now you know she's definitely not a girl you should be associating with. She has no respect for your feelings or needs. Forget about this one, get her out of your life and get out of hers, and have some time alone to heal. Oh and to answer your question,

Quote:

Originally Posted by Craig80

Was it OK to act like she did? She couldn't give her own boyfriend who had been looking for her for like 20 minutes one kiss/hug, but instead, she walks away and stays on the dancefloor with her friend for 3 hours neglecting me? Should I really put up with that? I wouldn't dream of turning my back on someone I love, I can't believe she would do that to me! I mean.. I asked for a few minutes, not like I wanted to be with her the whole night.

Definitely not, no way her actions could justify as okay that night. Walk away from her, tell her you don't need to put up with her, and you certainly don't want to remain friends with someone who doesn't respect you. Walk away with your head held high, my friend. Good luck, I hope my advice helped you in some way.

No, you shouldn't put up with that. No, the way she acted is not OK. When a girl behaves that way she has already broken up with you. It sounds like she isn't sure how to tell you. However, her behavior has said what her mouth has not. You deserve to be treated respectfully. Shop for new friends.

Save what dignity you have left and walk away...

Why would you want to stay with her after all of this?

She will try and contact you and what you should do is to just ignore her... don't answer her calls, nothing. She treated you like this and you should't take it.

Why are you surprised? She has been giving you these vibes a long time now,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ng-166274.html
Finally its time to move on.

Wow what a B*tch. If I was a guy I'd punch her right in the face for doing that to me. Honestly don't even take that off her. You seem like a really nice person, from how you reacted to the whole situation. You don't seem angry or vengeful towards her which is good. Ask yourself, even at this point, do you still want to be with a girl like that? One that would ever treat you that way? If she would treat you like that now, she'd do it in the future too. Let it go and find someone better.

Carry on with your own life, if she comes running back with more lies for you tell her to get a life that doesn't involve you

Day 2 since it ended.

Damn.. I know it's over now but my mind is still struggling to accept it,
I miss her like crazy.. I would go to the gym, fix my car and try to do things but
All the spare time between is killing me.. I know I have to let go of her and I know
That we aren't right for each other.

Why do I still love her and miss her so deeply? Even though our relationship wasn't
Healthy for any of us, and especially not me, and she treated me bad.

I feel like I will never meet anyone again, she dumped me partly because I wouldn't
Trust her when she went out partying and got wasted, do you think there is any girl out
There that will accept me even if I don't agree with her going out and being wasted and
Drinking too much? I feel like I want a girl who doesn't drink that much. Does she exist?
Or am I a hopeless nutcase that no one will want to love and be together with? :/

Feels like no one can ever compare to her.. just like that thread on page one.
"What to expect when you get dumped".

I called her yesterday to say good night like we have always done throughout the
Past because she asked me to on MSN, then she asked me if I wanted to like hang out
A few times a week and sort of implied that it was as "special friends".. you know what I
Mean.Why do I still want to do that and still want to have sex with her etc?
I'd do like anything for another last meeting with her..

Will it be easier to let go if I see her a few times more?
This loneliness is killing me.

Craig80]Day 2 since it ended.

Quote:

Damn.. I know it's over now but my mind is still struggling to accept it,
I miss her like crazy.. I would go to the gym, fix my car and try to do things but
All the spare time between is killing me.. I know I have to let go of her and I know
That we aren't right for each other.

You are still very fresh with the reality of it being over, your feelings are natural, and at least you recognise why its not going to work.

Quote:

Why do I still love her and miss her so deeply? Even though our relationship wasn't
Healthy for any of us, and especially not me, and she treated me bad.

Blinded by intense feelings and afraid to be alone, or start over with someone else.

Quote:

I feel like I will never meet anyone again, she dumped me partly because I wouldn't
Trust her when she went out partying and got wasted, do you think there is any girl out
There that will accept me even if I don't agree with her going out and being wasted and
Drinking too much? I feel like I want a girl who doesn't drink that much. Does she exist?

Of course she exists, the choices are endless.

Quote:

Or am I a hopeless nutcase that no one will want to love and be together with? :/

If you have healed, and gotten a life that makes you happy, you will find someone to share that happiness with. You have my word.

Quote:

Feels like no one can ever compare to her.. just like that thread on page one.
"What to expect when you get dumped".

Read it again, its true what it says, your mind isn't ready yet to accept the ex is only one of millions.

Quote:

I called her yesterday to say good night like we have always done throughout the
Past because she asked me to on MSN, then she asked me if I wanted to like hang out
A few times a week and sort of implied that it was as "special friends".. you know what I
Mean.Why do I still want to do that and still want to have sex with her etc?
I'd do like anything for another last meeting with her..

Read what you wrote. She has been making you MISERABLE, with her actions and played you for a fool, more than once, and still you cater to her needs, just for a few crumbs of attention. Ask her for bus fare home, if you don't believe me. Get a grip, Leave her alone. Unless you want more of the same.

Quote:

Will it be easier to let go if I see her a few times more?
This loneliness is killing me.

No it will not be easier, as she will laugh at your begging and pleading, and leave you at home, and head for the bar to brag to her friends, how she is teaching her pet new tricks. Oh You do remember the last time you were at the bar with her, don't you?? Your solution is simple. Stop contacting her and go absolutely-NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't see her. Don't contact her. Do what you've been doing and stay away! This girl isn't worth your affections. Keep up the NC! You can do it!

And yes, we're out here. All you have to do is find one of us! :)