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-   -   Do sparks go out? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=171778)

  • Jan 12, 2008, 08:34 PM
    madmad
    Do sparks go out?
    I've read the post 'what to expect when you get dumped'
    All about breakups
    It was great! But I still have something to ask...

    One of my boyfriends was.. lets say... my first love, awww I know, but after we broke up, the pain never left me, we stayed friends, friends with benefits and then went back to being friends again.

    We talk to each other nearly everyday, through email, and 99 per cent of the time- he starts talking to me!
    But I'm starting to wonder if this is justa bad idea becos I get kind of p***ed off when he mentions his new girlfriend although its been months since we broke up and I've been with other men too

    We had a unique relationship I mean we just had this spark that I can't explain but we were such different people that it had to end. He sometimes mentions things to me like 'ur the only girl I ever loved' but he'll go on to say ' me and the new girlfriend, we never fight like me and you used to, its sooo great'
    Or on other days we'll be talking away and I'd ask him something like what's up? And SOMEHOW he'd say anything that mentions his new girlfriend in the sentence, I might be paranoid but is he trying to make me jealous? Or act more like a friend now?

    I'm not trying to say 'HES THE ONE' or anything crazy like that...
    But he knows just as well as I do that we had something special
    It just wasn't the right time for us to be together
    I was way too immature and he was interested in partying and going out while I wasn't at the age where I could!
    Do you think we might sometime have a future
    As its driving me crazy!
    Id never try steal him off his girlfriend though,
    Id like to date around for a while or have a bit of me time
    And I'm not saying id wait around for them to break up or anything
    Just wondering if sparks go out?:(

    Could someone please give some advice?:)
    I'd really like someone else's opinion
  • Jan 12, 2008, 11:47 PM
    inspiredbylife
    am 55 and have been married a couple of time and now being single of 12 years dating a lot but also learned how to find the love of my life. Yes it is wonderful when someone enters our life and they have that special thing that brings excitement to it so addicting. Can't wait but does this last? I have found out that when I was meeting new people I had a list that I had made of my values that I needed to stick to because with out them I fall into the same old thing love at first sight. Do you know how many people tell each other after days of meeting that they are in love? Love is so many things yes it can last for a moment or for a week or it can be a love for a very best friend. I believe that when your life is at peace with its self and know your values some one will enter your life when you are ready. I have done my homework and many experiences of why I chose what I did now I know better. I have prayed for the kind of man I want and I did meet him, he just walked in on a job I was at and we became friends. When your older you don't have time to keep making the same mistakes by giving yourself to a person to find out he or she is not the right one. I dated for 3 years and yes believe it or not no sex or intimate because I needed to make sure why this person was with me because of a true love not a natural instinct of being a human. All about choices but I never have to second guess this marriage. I had learned to look for warning signs of being jealous, something that does not belong in a relationship if you want it to last. If you feel this you need to really ask yourself why. If you go into a relationship like that you will end up not trusting. This will not work. Enjoy the friendships that enter your life count them as blessing take the good and pass it on to another. L
  • Jan 13, 2008, 03:00 PM
    talaniman
    You have gone from special, to FWB's, and now your friends. No your not. Your just wanting to get back that special thing you had in the past, and he has moved on quite well. Stop the contact with him, and you will stop the confusion and pain.

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