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-   -   IS What I am Doing and Thinking Normal? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=171755)

  • Jan 12, 2008, 06:51 PM
    MandaBear0511
    IS What I am Doing and Thinking Normal?
    I am always think of what people think of me, and how I can make myself better to impress people, is this normal? There was actually a point where I tried not to eat anything for a while. Why do I think like this, and is there anyone who is just like me?
  • Jan 12, 2008, 06:54 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Well to a point that you don't eat, no that is not normal.

    Do people, buy a certain brand of jeans because of what people think, do teens buy a certain type of tennis shoe because of others, yes of course they do, this is something that advertisers count on.

    Do people dress for success in business, of course.
  • Jan 12, 2008, 07:02 PM
    J_9
    Again Manda, you are 15. At your age it is all about pleasing other people, peer pressure if you will. But life is about pleasing yourself, making you happy with who you are and not caring what other people think of you.

    If you did not eat, this is quite frightening from a parent's standpoint as it may be indicative of anorexia.

    You think like this because you are 15 and you want to fit in. You want to be like everyone else. Why not try to be different? Why not try to be a role model and have other people look up to you for being yourself and not following the crowd?

    You see, I am a mother of 4 kids, ages 21, 20, 14 and 5. So, I have been there listening to my children as they have gone through, and are going through, what you are.

    My daughter, 14, was just nominated for Homecoming along with 10 other girls, only one won and it was not my daughter. The other 8 started crying, while my daughter just said that she was happy she was nominated and got the chance to dress up and be pretty.

    Hun, it's all in how you perceive yourself, not in how others look at you. In 10 years you may not even remember who these other people are, or they may not remember you. It is you who has to make you happy.
  • Jan 12, 2008, 07:06 PM
    Wondergirl
    Are you under age 16? If you are, that is normal for your age. Even boys are this way. All I did when I was that age was compare myself to everyone else. One week I was fixated on other girls' legs and how mine compared. The next week I obsessed over hair. The week after that, I worried that my rear was too fat.

    You'll get over this by the time you are around 16. Some, unfortunately, never get past that kind of self-centeredness over how they look to others. Note Britany Spears for one. That Hilton girl is another one. And you may have figured out by now that that kind of insecurity breeds either a raging case of poor self-esteem or arrogance that covers up the poor self-esteem.
  • Jan 12, 2008, 07:08 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    Yes, I am a father of 5 boys, so don't do good on the girl stuff, but one of my boys was all western, jeans, western shirts, even cowboy hats when he was not in school ( and sneaking some chewing tobbacca to be cool) well cool with the guys he hung out with.

    Well his brother ( only two yeas younger) was into baggy pants ( hanging half off showing his shorts) and some silly hat turned sideways.

    Another was more JC Penny Prep style.

    And another never had a real style of his own ( or maybe no choice left for him)
    For my boys they did not follow a trend, but they were always leading the trend, and if not leading, going their own way and if others followed great, if not they could care less.

    And it is true, the "most important" people in your life, in 10 or 15 years you will not most likely remember their names.

    In the end , we have to wake up in the morning and be happy with who we are, who cares what someone else thinks.
  • Jan 12, 2008, 07:19 PM
    MandaBear0511
    Wow, that is very helpful, thanks, I have been eating normally latley and I have been trying to think positive, and I am getting better, my boyfriend helps, A LOT! My friends do to!

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