My boyfriend and I of two yeas just got back together on new years eve... we broke up for exactly two months... now its been just two weeks and he's back to doing the same thing that caused the breakup in the first place... he doesn't call/answer/and barely texts me... he uses the excuse that there's probs at his house with his mom and stepdad and that there's always screaming.. I want to believe him but I have doubts... because its like he doesn't even have a second to call me... its not like if every mnute of the day there's going to be screaming.. and when you really want to talk to someone you say you love you go out of your way just to talk to them if even for 2 seconds... he told me yesterday he would call me this weekend and still hasn't I text him and it will take him about and hour or something to reply or he just doesn't... is he just trying to avoid me and making this up? Because I have problems at home too but I always find time to call/text him... we all know texting only takes less then a minute... and when he asked me back out the first thing I asked him before I said yes was if he was going to start calling me everyday without any excuse and he said yess.I really don't know what to do.. I don't think he's interested no more or is he just confused about what he wants... because what to took us 2 months to get back together... was that he was confused about what he wanted... so maybe he's just confused.. or just never changing.. I really don't know what to do.. I just don't want to do anything I know I'm going to regret later

Let me play devils advocate with you here...

Aren't you doing the same thing before you broke up? i.e. wanting him to call every day, or text within the hour, etc.

Guys and girls have different agendas when it comes to relationships. He may not be the clingy type, where it seems you are.

Saying I love you at the end of every phone conversation or text becomes old and meaningless after a while.

You don't want to seem needy do you? That will chase him off in a big way.

Let the poor guy have his space, he may feel smothered, suffocated. If he says he's going to call you this weekend, there is still time in the weekend for him to call you. You did not specify that you wanted him to call by 4:00 pm on Saturday, just that he would call this weekend.

You're trying to turn him into a girl. He's not a girl, he's a guy. Like J_9 said, guys have different ways of relating than girls do.

A male friend of mine ended our phone conversations by just saying "bye" and expected me to say the same. I told him politeness says he should wind up the conversation by leading into the "bye" by saying "Well, this has certainly been fun. Let's do it again soon." Then, I told him, he can say "Bye for now, sweetie." He told me "Phooey. The conversation is over. You know it. I know it. So I said 'bye'. You really don't expect me to say all that girly stuff, do you?"

See what I mean? Guys don't do long endings to conversations and 'I love you' at the end of a phone call.

Don't be needy. Let him be a guy and enjoy him for that.

Thank you for the PM, but PMs are discouraged with questions and answers.

So, he hasn't called you all week. Maybe this getting back together is not working.

Understand you can't change him. You just can't make him what you want him to be. Either accept what he is or move on.

The problem isn't him not saying I love you afther the conversation or anything like that.. its that we NEVER do have any... he never calls... he hasn't called this whole week...

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Originally Posted by PiNK_xTC_42o

the problem isnt him not saying i love you afther the conversation or anything like that..its that we NEVER do have any....he never calls...he hasnt called this whole week...

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Maybe he's involved with his family. Maybe he's working on school stuff. Does he have a job too? Maybe he's just real busy. Or maybe he's avoiding you. Time will tell about the last one.

P.S. Wait a sec! You had written this in your original post -- "he told me yesterday he would call me this weekend" Hey, girl! You two talked yesterday. What's your hurry for a phone call? It's only the first day of the weekend.

Like I said, maybe this getting back together is not working out.

Getting back with an ex was actually one of the worst decisions you could have made. It did not work the first time, and now you feel it is not working this time. It is time to move on and leave this relationship in the past. It is not working for you, so you need to make the decision that is best for you. Right? Who decided to give it another try, like wondergirl has said too. What is going on in his life. Busy, with work and school and family. No matter what the situation is, it is not good for you.

He decided to get back... and we just talked because we have school together so he can't avoid me there... and no he doesn't have a job

Well he decided but not you? Okay I have to ask how old are both of you?

We are both 19... yea he asked me back out... he knew I always wanted us back together... I was just waiting for him to figure out what he wanted... because he would tell me he was confused and didn't know... but I feel that he still doesn't know what he wants and he probably just ask me out so at least he has me while he figures it out.. I don't know what to think.. and he still hasn't called me... I see him tomorrow and I am planning on confronting him about this..

Good for you. After that you need to make a decision.

I can see your point if he said he would, but maybe your asking for more than he can give. In that case, he may not be the one you need.

Hi, Here are some Rules to live by in a relationship that have helped me keep it in check.
hope it helps you too. :)

• Don’t live by someone else’s standards, only your own.
• men love men that give off a devil-may-care quality and have an edge.
• A dreaman won’t kill himself to impress anyone.
• A nice girl/boy makes the mistake of being available all the time.
• get back to him when you are free
• see him when its convenient for you
• has no clue where the relationship is going and leaves it like that
• A man will always want what he can’t have.
• hold yourself with dignity and pride
• believe you are a catch
• trying too hard gives the impression you are desperate
• don’t be mothering
• Love yourself and don’t want anyone that doesn’t want you.
• Ignore him and he is intrigued; make him the center of attention all the time and he runs.
• When you don’t pay attention, his more intrigued and chase you even more
• If you don’t make him feel locked down, he'll come your way.
• If you try to corner him, he'll bolt
• fun equals freedom
• give the appearance that he has plenty of space; will drop his guard
• If you feel strongly about something, don’t be afraid to say so.
• Men are attracted to someone who can speak their mind.
• Begin a relationship with a voice
• Space is very important. Makes you look proud rather than desperate. You remain a challenge, because you choose to be w/ him, you didn't need to be.
• Independence rather than dependence.
• That you can hold your own
• demand treatment as if you are worthwhile
• be slightly standoffish
• be sexy, don’t try to be sexy
• play by your own rules
• Be unpredictable.
• Reassure in 2 areas: 1.that he is sexually desirable to you and (2) that he sees that he’s still in the game
• give kisses that are sexy and sensual
• smile allot, be happy
• Compliment him; let him know he’s desirable to you. Tell him he looks great
• don’t be needy
• Be secure with yourself, that he doesn’t feel like he has 100 a hold on you.
• Eliminate these words: “we need to talk”
• Tell it like it is in a matter of fact way.
• Be relaxed, secure and happy with him or with out him. Be happy go lucky
• he should always feel free to go
• leave some questions unanswered
• don’t stop going to the gym or your lifestyle to accommodate him
• don’t stop spending time with friends and family
• don’t check messages too often
• focus on work
• don’t check emails constantly
• don’t stop moving at your own rhythm
• do not abandon your routines
• don’t put pressure him so that he’ll want to be around you
• value your priorities
• stay boss of yourself
• act as your own guide/boss
• you don’t need his approval for anything
• Have more confidence, some else’s mood doesn’t have much impact on you.
• Only give when reciprocal
• When a relationship starts lightning speed, at some point someone will pull back to regain the need for space.
• Stay in control
• The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.
• Once you lose your rhythm, you lose your psychological equilibrium an you become needy.
• Power is the control you have over yourself.
• When someone is being too cocky, they are trying too hard to convince that they are stronger that they really are.
• When treated with disrespect and you take it, they begin to loose respect for you.
• Prioritize yourself over melting into someone else. “No” means no.
• Be clear and direct of what you need without second-guessing yourself
• Don’t wait more than ½ hour for anyone. Leave and you will get respect and it won’t happen again. Remember, you are a prize!
• Know who you are and what you will or will not accept
• Having self-control because true power is the control you have over yourself
• When you have control over yourself, you don’t need to be emotional all the time. – stay the boss of you.
• People get spooked by too much sappy emotional talk, particularity early on in the relationship.
• Do not send tear-jerker cards early on.
• Don’t pout or whimper when you don’t receive calls. Make them wonder every now and then what you are doing and why you are not together. When you regulate the timing, it keeps them wanting and it charges up the batteries.
• Never call more than once in arrow or too much.
• Don’t leave mushy messages; keep the messages friendly, short and sweet.
• Don’t email more than once in a row or send emails about feelings, issues and what you need that you are not getting. Don’t respond to emails immediately every time.
• Don’t stop eating, socializing, sleeping and exercising.
• Avoid last minute dates because you miss him
• Don’t walk in the door, check your messages or call right back. Settle in, eat dinner and relax, move at your own rhythm and then call back. He has to know you have a life.
• Don’t sit by the phone and wait for a call.
• Don’t ask for affection. Don’t coax affection out of him.
• If ignored, don’t try harder to get attention.
• Stay focused on your life. Stay sassy, perky and happy.
• Stay ever so slightly just outside a persons reach, because it charges up the batteries.
• Don’t be governed by fear of losing a man, because a real price to pay is when you loose yourself.
• If you feel you are going to resent something after you give, don’t give it.
• Give only what feels comfortable to give.
• It’s better to give and receive
• Love yourself first
• Never say, “We never spend time together” this is a sign to person that he/she has a right where he wants you. Don’t be needy.
• If taken for granted, pull back a little with no explanation, it catches the person off guard and gets their attention big-time.
• Avoid being a “mother”, transition back to being a “lover”
• Win him back by acting as though you can take him or leave him.
• Treat him casually as though your friend and he’ll come your way because he wants things to be romantic and he wants to be the pursuer.
• Alter the pattern that has become convenient for him; pull back without an attitude and without warning.
• Don’t be a , be kind and strong.
• If it seems as though he’s slightly rejecting you, it can be a compliment in disguise. He wants you so much that he doesn’t want to appear too obvious about it.
• When you act as if you don’t care, it will scare him.
• Get creative and don’t be predictable talking about the relationship all the time instead of going out and having one.
• Never sit home waiting for a call from a guy or that he’s your whole life. It’s like waiting for water to boil.
• Live by your own rules.
• Move to your own rhythm instead of moving to the beat of some else’s drum.
• Decide how you want to be treated.
• Choose what you will or will not tolerate.
• Discreetly leave if you don’t get what you want.
• No one person should be doing all the giving.
• Don’t give too much
• Getting a life will make it seem like you are no longer impetuous, or impatient. When you are relaxed, you’ve take the “need” out of the equation. You no longer appear needy and strong, which immediately changes the dynamic of a stale relationship.
• If you want to renew the challenge, it is imperative to continue the activities you did before he came to the scene.
• When you will not drop everything to be with him, your appear as though you have more going for you.
• Never stop living you life. You are happy with or without him, this will keep you just outside his reach.

This is a great post! I wish I can put this on an index card. This is so true, when we're in relationship we tend to forget about ourselve and that's where it tend to fail.

He may feel captive just as I felt reading these post! Pushing him to get back with you, will not work. ONLY IF his heart is in the relationship will BOTH of you want to be together. Sounds as if he is not interested (maybe just not right now). I agree to give him space and time to miss being with you. But do not sit around and waiting on him to call. Find something else to do with yourself. Stay busy doing something POSITIVE.

You are being to needy and desperate and that drives guys crazy, it frustrates them and asking someone to call you everyday basically tells him that you have dependency issues. Stop texting him for awhile and allow him to contact you.

1 Corinthians 7 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)

Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
[NIV at IBS] [International Bible Society] [NIV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]

1 Corinthians 7
Marriage
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

17Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God's commands is what counts. 20Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. 21Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. 23You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. 24Brothers, each man, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation God called him to.

25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36If anyone thinks he is acting improperly toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if she is getting along in years and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does even better.[b]

39A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.