How to get out of a speeding ticket
If you've ever wondered how to get out of a speeding ticket. Just repeat what is below.
After the police officer pulls you over for speeding, he should ask...
Officer: May I see your license and registration?
You: I don't have a license. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle then?
You: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
You: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
You: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!
You: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer should have immediately called his captain. The car should be quickly surrounded by police, and the captain should approach you to handle the tense situation.
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
You: Sure. Here it is.
Show the captain your valid license.
Captain: Who's car is this?
You: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
You should now give him the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
You: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
You should open your glove box SLOWLY, and you should hopefully not have a gun in there.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
You: No problem.
Open your trunk to reveal that there is no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove-box, and that there was a body in the trunk?
You: Yeah, and I'll bet that son of a b**** told you I was speeding too!
