What are my rights if I am impregnated by a man that unbeknownst to me is married and I have decided to keep the baby? This man, although still married, continues to torment me by saying that he will not be a part of my child's life if I do not continue to see him. My goal is to get him to pay for this responsibility. He has his own business, and claims that he will put things in his wife's name or sell the business to avoid supporting my child. He is cruel, threatening, and the type of monster that one would see on a talk show. I never thought it would be me.:confused:

You have a right to child support, and to learn from your mistakes, and not repeat them.

You can sue him for child support. You, he and the baby will have to submit to a DNA test to prove paternity. Now, getting a judgement is one thing ; collecting on it is something else. If he really trusts his wife enough to put his assets in her name only then you could have a problem. As for that matter so could he if she has a change of heart. Does she know about this? What reason will he give her for wanting to transfer everything over to her name only? It takes an awfully gutsy guy to put all of his assets solely in his wife's name for the purpose of evading child support for a child that was conceived as a result of an extramarital affair. He may be bluffing. But, if he isn't, then when the arrears pile up a warrant will be issued for his arrest and the first time he gets stopped for speeding or a burned-out taillight he'll be hauled off to jail. But obviously if he's sitting in kail you won't get anything out of him that way either.

Okkkkk, I know that. I am hoping to get more specific advice. Can I sue for mental anguish. What things can be done prior to the baby being born to get the ball rolling. Is it possible for me to seek interest in the company for my child. I should mention that my baby is due in March and hurt, but somewhat stronger. There is a lot to this story for instance this man told my family and his that we were going to be married... and the list goes on. This is prior to my knowing that he was married. He has fathered 3 other children like this and his wife, whom I've had the displeasure of meeting when this all unfolded in my lap, says that she has gone through this too many times before. She was aware of another woman, but did not know the details? We have had no conversation since then, and left one another with no ill feelings.

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Originally Posted by mamichulo24

Okkkkk, I know that. I am hoping to get more specific advice. Can I sue for mental anguish. What things can be done prior to the baby being born to get the ball rolling. Is it possible for me to seek interest in the company for my child. I should mention that my baby is due in March and hurt, but somewhat stronger. There is a lot to this story for instance this man told my family and his that we were going to be married...and the list goes on. This is prior to my knowing that he was married. He has fathered 3 other children like this and his wife, whom i've had the displeasure of meeting when this all unfolded in my lap, says that she has gone through this too many times before. She was aware of another woman, but did not know the details? We have had no conversation since then, and left one another with no ill feelings.

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No, you cannot sue for mental anguish because you got pregnant out of wedlock, whether the other party is or is not married. Nothing can be done to "get the ball rolling" until you prove paternity (through DNA) and you cannot do that until the baby is born. If it is your intention to somehow make money off this situation, get "interest in his company," whatever your plans are - he has a duty to the child, not to you, and that duty and how to enforce it is up to the Court. I am sure the "displeasure" in meeting his wife was mutual and I don't think I would have any additional contact with him OR her or you will end up being charged with harassment or stalking.

Bad situation but that's the way these things work. I never understand how a woman, her family, his family, his friends, her friends, nobody either knows or says he's already married but I know it happens.

No - what is your mental anguish? That he is married? You have the right to sue for child support. You ask what kinds of things you can do before the baby is born - you should wait for the birth and then the DNA - whatever case you want to present would be stronger. You want the child to have an interest in this man's business? If he is the father, the child would be an heir, is what you are thinking.

He has three other children outside his marriage? They will all part a share too. Talk to an attorney - that is the best thing you can do.

Nothing can really be done until the child is born.

I would suggest getting an attorney retained now though, and getting all the paperwork for child support etc ready to file for when the child is born.

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Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

No, you cannot sue for mental anguish because you got pregnant out of wedlock, whether the other party is or is not married. Nothing can be done to "get the ball rolling" until you prove paternity (through DNA) and you cannot do that until the baby is born. If it is your intention to somehow make money off this situation, get "interest in his company," whatever your plans are - he has a duty to the child, not to you, and that duty and how to enforce it is up to the Court. I am sure the "displeasure" in meeting his wife was mutual and I don't think I would have any additional contact with him OR her or you will end up being charged with harassment or stalking.

Bad situation but that's the way these things work. I never understand how a woman, her family, his family, his friends, her friends, nobody either knows or says he's already married but I know it happens.

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One can seek paternity through amniocentisis prior to the arrival of the child. Some things are evident like hiring a private investigator to ensure I will know his location once the child arrives, and seeking information pertaining to his assets now so that if those sources are mysteriosly depleated once my child comes... I am ahead of things (so to speak). Am I in a bad predicament... yes. Am I a fool or some trashy "homewrecker" never have been. I am not sure if you read all that was said, however this would be for the interest of the child. I have no need for, nor do I subscribe to clawing at someone's bank account simply because. Me harrass him? Despite my requests for him to not contact me because of things he has said... "I won't sign the birth certificate!" "I'm not telling anyone about this baby!", "I know I told you I wanted this child, but I changed my mind.", "If you would take me back, maybe I would consider helping you," he continues to make contact with me. This is just the minimum of what I have be told or what has been left on my answering machine. I thought about filing for a restraining order, because he has also threatened me, but I don't know if that is in my best interest now (and the threats have stopped) Yeah... I think that I have suffered a tad bit of trauma caused by him. I don't know if he has gotten the divorce or not because his lies change from week to week. I have been researching this for a bit of time. It is amazing to me how many people (despite what they say) pity or make excuses for the man. There are more websites that discuss parental rights from the man's perspective than from the unbiased parent's perspective.

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Originally Posted by mamichulo24

One can seek paternity through amniocentisis prior to the arrival of the child.

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I am coming from a medical standpoint here, so I am not going to be as judgmental as I usually am, being the wife that was cheated on myself.

Very few, if any, doctors will perform an amniocentesis solely for the purpose of determining paternity, due to the increased risks of miscarriage and preterm labor.

Amniocentesis is performed for several reasons, none of which are paternity.

He has three other children outside his marriage? They will all part a share too. Talk to an attorney - that is the best thing you can do.[/QUOTE]

Correction: He has three others besides the one by his wife. Mine will be the 5th! He and his wife have been married for 17 years. Her son is seven, and his oldest child is 17. SO YEAH... HE HAS A HISTORY OF THIS. I understand that he has other responsibilities and a duty to his other children, but I have been forced to think about the interest of this one. I am OK with the courts dividing he level of responsibility among all children, however, I intend to make sure that my child is not excluded simply because he wants to snake his way out of this now.

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mamichulo24 disagrees: I have already checked into this and it depends on where you are in your pregnancy and of course the doctor.

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You can disagree all you want, but as a medical professional in the maternity field, I don't know of a competent doctor who would do this for paternity due to the dangers and risks involved.

However, I do know of some shady doctors who will do it just for the money.

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I intend to make sure that my child is not excluded simply because he wants to snake his way out of this now

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As well you should. Calm down we are on your side, and agree with you. Just wait until the child is born.

In your eagerness to get him for doing you wrong, do not harm your baby.
I'm just not speaking about the amnio test I am talking about your anger.
Your child can feel this and will feel it when he/she is born.
Be quiet and take him to court.. do not get into arguments with him or discussions with his wife. They don't care their track record is proof of it.

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Originally Posted by mamichulo24

One can seek paternity through amniocentisis prior to the arrival of the child. Some things are evident like hiring a private investigator to ensure I will know his location once the child arrives, and seeking information pertaining to his assets now so that if those sources are mysteriosly depleated once my child comes...I am ahead of things (so to speak). Am I in a bad predicament...yes. Am I a fool or some trashy "homewrecker" never have been. I am not sure if you read all that was said, however this would be for the interest of the child. I have no need for, nor do I subscribe to clawing at someone's bank account simply because. Me harrass him? Despite my requests for him to not contact me because of things he has said..."I won't sign the birth certificate!" "I'm not telling anyone about this baby!", "I know I told you I wanted this child, but I changed my mind.", "If you would take me back, maybe I would consider helping you," he continues to make contact with me. This is just the minimum of what I have be told or what has been left on my answering machine. I thought about filing for a restraining order, because he has also threatened me, but I don't know if that is in my best interest now (and the threats have stopped) Yeah...I think that I have suffered a tad bit of trauma caused by him. I don't know if he has gotten the divorce or not because his lies change from week to week. I have been researching this for a bit of time. It is amazing to me how many people (despite what they say) pity or make excuses for the man. There are more websites that discuss parental rights from the man's perspective than from the unbiased parent's perspective.

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Not all States will determine paternity by amniocentesis - and until the baby is born I don't believe you can file for support and force him to do a DNA test anyway. You cannot file for support in anticipation. Would your Doctor allow amnio for this reason when you can wait until March and establish paternity then? Amnio is dangerous. I thought when you said you had contact with the wife that you had contacted her; I apologize, I didn't realize she contacted you.

This is not compensable trauma. If he has threatened you I don't know why you think reporting the threats is not in your best interest but you certainly know your situation better than I do.

Hiring a private investigator will not ensure you know his location when the baby arrives - it will ensure you know his location a day or two before the investigator "runs" his name. If you establish assets and they are transferred or depleted before paternity is established they are NOT part of what is considered by the Court when setting support. I would be concerned that your questioning of assets - if it comes to the father's attention - will backfire and go against your interests. This is not a matrimonial where you cannot make transfers during the pendency of the action; this is a child support matter.

As far as what will or will not benefit your child - the Courts will order and enforce support; inheritance is at the whim of the parent. The Court is the only unbiased party here. Children are not entitled to inherit (his business or anything else) and he can very easily specifically exclude your child from any inheritance if that is his choice.

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Originally Posted by mamichulo24

One can seek paternity through amniocentisis prior to the arrival of the child.

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Hold on!!
I can see two ways to do it:
1. The father VOLUNTARY to submit DNA evidence
2.The court to order pre-birth DNA tests.
If he is so awful person I cannot see how you will seek paternity test before child's birth.
BTW the Court recognizes DNA tests performed by Court order ONLY.
Best wishes-George

Thanks everyone for your concern, help, and support. I can definetely say I was a little angry yesterday after receiving 10 voicemails from my child's father. It's a hard situation. I recently divorced (2years ago) and I thought that was hard... well life does take you through some things. I am just grateful that I have the support of friends and family members. This was such a shock to us all since everyone met him and thought him to be so genuine. I know that time will work things out one way or another. If anyone has any information or knows of a website that they think I would benefit from looking at, please do respond.:)

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Originally Posted by mamichulo24

Thanks everyone for your concern, help, and support. I can definetely say I was a little angry yesterday after receiving 10 voicemails from my child's father. It's a hard situation. I recently divorced (2years ago) and I thought that was hard...well life does take you through some things. I am just grateful that I have the support of friends and family members. This was such a shock to us all since everyone met him and thought him to be so genuine. I know that time will work things out one way or another. If anyone has any information or knows of a website that they think I would benefit from looking at, please do respond.:)

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I think you got lots of good info although you may not agree with it right now - what else are you looking to find, anything not answered? Family Court in your area is usually a wealth of info.

Why are you reluctant to file harassment charges? I think I'd want to end the phone calls.

Honestly, sorry to hear you're going through this - do you think he got his hooks into you because you were reeling from a nasty divorce? Sad to say that does happen and sometimes people can spot your weakness or upset from clear across a room! Be grateful you didn't lend him money - I see more of that following a bad breakup than I do pregnancies.

UPDATE GUYS!

My baby is due in 4 days! I'm happy overall. My feelings have slightly changed about the jerk aka the sperm donor of my child. Initially, depsite his lack of support, I was going to allow him to be in the delivery room with me and our child to have his last name. Since then I have decided to cut off all ties. He does not want to have anything to do with the baby, therefore I will only seek his support financially. I will do this after the baby is born and I have had some time to adjust. He still calls, but I do not answer the phone. I hope that serving him with court documents will not be a problem since he says that he has moved out of state to an undisclosed location so that he won't have to pay me a dime? I believe he has left his wife? Per our last discussion he has a new girlfriend that lives with him? He's such a liar so who knows. If he has some sort of epiphany in the future... I can't say what my future thoughts will be about including him in our lives... I hope that by that time I am able to be indifferent. I went to see the movie Juno about a month ago. I cried at the end. Although I do not think it is ideal, women raise children alone all of the time.

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Originally Posted by mamichulo24

He has three other children outside his marriage? They will all part a share too. Talk to an attorney - that is the best thing you can do.

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Correction: He has three others besides the one by his wife. Mine will be the 5th! He and his wife have been married for 17 years. Her son is seven, and his oldest child is 17. SO YEAH... HE HAS A HISTORY OF THIS. I understand that he has other responsibilities and a duty to his other children, but I have been forced to think about the interest of this one. I am OK with the courts dividing he level of responsibility among all children, however, I intend to make sure that my child is not excluded simply because he wants to snake his way out of this now.[/QUOTE]

Your child will not be excluded. Get the DNA test when the baby is born and after the court adjudicates paternity you will be entitled to support and back support.

You are not entitled to emotional distress which does not stand alone as a matter. Emotional distress is usually the byproduct of the main complaint and is very difficult to get even then. Courts do not award money for foolishness. We've all been foolish and believed someone who has lied to us and been traumatized by that but we can't line up and get money for it.

Worry about getting support after the child is born. Don't put your child in danger with amniocentisis just for paternity (I doubt a dr would order it anyway).

You need a lawyer first and foremost to discuss things and how you feel they should be. Reality is you can't do anything until the child is born. Doing the amnio might get you closer but then you would have to take that to court to get it proven ( could take months ) and the judge will say wait more then likely. As far as him changing names to his wife.. don't sweat it. In most states and during discovery phase of hearings or trials they don't just look at yesterday and be blind to the rest. Try not talking with your emotions as hard as it may be. That alone can get you into trouble. Seek out legal advice from your lawyer and try to maintain a perspective on what you can and CAN NOT accomplish.