I have been married for 5 years. My husband will not allow me to drop off the kids from a previous relationship to their fathers house or pick them up. He has to know my whereabouts every hour. When I go visit friends he has to be there. He has tapped my cell phone and the my friends cell phone and my ex-husband's cell phone. This man is a police officer.

I feel miserable and want to know if this would be considered abuse or am I just not used to being in this sort of relationship. Please help. Thanks

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Originally Posted by tishy3500

I have been married for 5 years. My husband will not allow me to drop off the kids from a previous relationship to their fathers house or pick them up. He has to know my whereabouts every hour. When I go visit friends he has to be there. He has tapped my cell phone and the my friends cell phone and my ex-husband's cell phone. This man is a police officer.

I feel miserable and want to know if this would be considered abuse or am I just not used to being in this sort of relationship. Please help. Thanks

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RUN!! Yes that is abuse.. he won't let you live your life how could it not b? And who is he to not let YOU drop of YOUR kids to their father... that is not right and it sounds like he suffers from some real insecurity and trust issues... you are the one who is in control of yourself and YOUR life... noone else... never let any one treat you like a puppet on a string.. life is to short to let someone live it for you.. you should never let anyone make you miserable... imagine how your children might feel... sweetie get out while you can.. and live your life happily even if it is with yourself...

Yes, this is a form of abuse. What happens when you get tired of this behavior and stop doing as he wishes... then what? Do you think his behavior will escalate into violence?

If you can prove he tapped into those phones, that is against the law. Why should he be able to circumvent the law?

Emotional control like he is doing to you is abuse, yes. Emotional now and tomorrow a little more and then a little more until you wake up from being knocked flat on your back with a black eye and other injuries.

What if the children's father were to come to your home to get his children? It would be another eye to see what is going on. Do you work outside the home? If not, when he goes to work can you go to a neighbor's house and call for help - not to the police but to a women's crisis center?

He is not this way because he is a police officer - he became a police officer because his mannerisms and behavior would not be so discovered.
Is he reading your emails and watching your computer history? Has he installed a net nanny program on your computer to track where you go online and what you say?

You need to get out, I agree with the others. That is your priority.

Control is the form abuse cause is makes the abused a slave to the master which is the abuser
They will say things like I'm sorry but there just trying to get you to do as they please
The abuser can be a sweet talker to get the abused to as he or she pleases.

This may appear to be a tasteless question but I assure I do not mean it to be tasteless.

Have you done anything to give your husband a reason to behave this way?

Apart from the fact that cops wallow in lies every working day and become very distrustful, it appears to me that he is on the wrong side of common sense.

At this point for all we knows he may think he is protecting you by knowing your every move. I doubt it, but it could be true.

If my Lady wants to go somewhere all I really expect from her is to let me know, in case I go looking for her. Other than that, she's a big person and knows what is right and what is wrong, I don't need to be her guard dog or stalker.

This old post is CLOSED!!!