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-   -   I want to reduce my shyness (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=171168)

  • Jan 10, 2008, 11:51 PM
    EK2008
    I want to reduce my shyness
    My problem that I am very very shying girl even from my mother I didn't love before and when I found my real love the same problem with him some times I can't express my feeling to him and some other times it cause more problems I love him so so so much and I am very loyal to him but the problem that I feel I can't make him happy all time he dose his best and always make me very very happy but I can't do the same we will get married soon but still shying from him if he knows how much I love him if he knows how much good feeling I keep it to him but I have to show he will not know with himself.
    Just I need help want to know how I can reduce my shyness and how can I show to him that much of love to him.
  • Jan 10, 2008, 11:58 PM
    oneguyinohio
    Building trust and self confidence sometimes takes time. The more you get to know him, the easier it will hopefully get for you. Talk often, and start with small opinions building your confidence. If you get positive feedback, it will be easier to take the next step with more opinions and assertiveness for what you want.

    I hope that helps and that I understood your question correctly.
  • Jan 11, 2008, 10:06 AM
    rowansnow
    I have also been painfully shy for a long time in my life. I was a normal, happy child who had no problems expressing my opinions or talking to strangers but something happened when I turned about 12 and I started being really angry with the world and avoiding all contact with people. When I actually did have contact I discovered that I had no skills to relate to other people.
    As suggested, start small by expressing you opinions about the world around you and what you see. Start reading books or magazines or watching television/movies and you can begin to talk about them with your fiancé and other people. That's a start.
    Also start listening to and observing your own thoughts. What do you think in the morning light? Is is beautiful, hopeful, melancholy or sad? How does it make you feel? You can choose to share these thoughts with others and people will begin to "relate" to you and share their opinions with you, or you can simply become aware of what you are thinking and feeling. Just remember that people will respond better to positive thoughts and emotions than to negative ones, but we all experience a broad spectrum.
    Good luck and keep trying.
  • Jan 11, 2008, 10:34 AM
    EuRa
    This may sound stupid, but it actually works. Next time you are in the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror, tell yourself how you feel. Look into your own eyes, and tell yourself "I love you".

    It may sound awkward or stupid, but when you do it, something will happen. Keep doing it, keep complimenting yourself, keep saying nice things, and BE SERIOUS! Look deep into your own eyes and don't waver. I'm not going to tell you what happens because then you'll be trying to find it. But when you do these actions, something GREAT will happen, and your shyness will fade away.

    You'll know it when it happens. Your whole body will feel it. It's up to you to find out what I mean when I say "it". Good Luck!
  • Jan 22, 2008, 03:49 AM
    pipepiper
    Shyness in your case I think only from people that want to come closer to you in physical or emotional few people have the problem of shyness that they can't meet more people and are not social but your case is different. About the thing that you can't express your love I am not clear in which sense you mean this. Did you tell him you love him if he already know that you love him than what exactly make you shy is it his emotional/romantic talking if its really this than this shyness will go with time as not all humans are the same but are you sure if he like this shyness maybe he love you because of the shyness did he ever tell you that he doesn't like your shyness. Maybe he already know that you love him so much and maybe he is very understanding did you ever talk to him about this. There are different techniques to help reduce shyness but in your case I think you have to express what you feel just write wots in your heart or say to him and slowly you will reduce your shyness don't run from it say it as much as you can if you really want it to go than say wots in your heart maybe tomorrow never comes or maybe he love you like this maybe he love your shyness. Not all men are same not all female are same the thing is understanding each other.

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