So I just started dating my first girlfriend, and I'm feeling pretty nervous. I wouldn't go so far as to say there are "problems", just complications that began to emerge, or at least I started to become more aware of.
Here's the rundown;
-I'm 16 she's 17
-I'm 6'2" she's around 5'
-this is pretty much her first "real" relationship also (these first 3 things don't bother me at all)
-there is are group of 4 friends (that include me, her, another guy and another girl (the other guy and girl are just friends)). The three of them have been good friends for a good couple years, I came into this picture about 5 months ago, we were just friends until relatively a month or so ago ( i would explain how we hooked up but i wanna keep it under 2000 words...it was basically "do you like me?" "you, do you like me? GREAT!") and so the "dating" began. Here's the thing, she it a VERY busy person I would have to say, I we can't find allot of time to actually spend together. See she lives a good 10 or so kilometers from me and our school so it not like one of us can just walk over and chill with the other when we have a spare moment. So our total communication is summed up with talking on MSN (my favorite [rolling eyes]), and eating lunch together, which brings me to my next dilemma. Because there is the 4 of us that are good friends, we sensibly all eat lunch together. But again with the complications... Me and my girlfriend both agree (although it was her idea, and I'm not quite liking it now) that we would not act like "boyfriend and girlfriend" around them as to not "weird them out" as she says. Here's the thing, we decided this awhile back when we started "dating" before they even knew, but now they both know and don't really seem to care. And lunch being the most time I get to see her in an average day I want to spent it with HER! AS BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND, BEING ABLE TO TALK TO Each other PERSONALLY, AND NOT HAVE TO PUT ON A SHOW FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD FOE OUR RELATIONSHIP!! I don't even think we can say were dating because we haven't even really been on a first date, because she's busy when I'm not and I'm busy working when she's not(to an extent). But that will change we have a date picked out were both free and I'll be damed if we don't do something! So you see why the whole lunch thing is frustrating me so much. It's not like I want to sit there with my arm around her, or kiss here in front of our friends, I just want to connect with here on a different level, if you know what I mean? Not just sit there almost blankly with these feelings building up.
[[[[[sorry if this seems like a novel length question, but I just need to vet and see if I can get some advice at the same time.]]]]]
On to my favorite method of communication... MSN [rolling eyes]. Because the only real time we get to talk is later at night on MSN, I would at least like to talk about something, and I feel our conversations aren't the most... "accurate" is terms of communicating actual feelings, its kind of like were different... somewhat more open, yet feelingless people and with nothing to talk about. Its like playing slowmotion ping-pong with someone who doesn't like to talk very much (weird analogy I know). Yet I feel like I can express my true feelings here, but I know they would not get through on the same emotional level as in person and would probably make things awkward next time I see her in person so I say nothing, and the bitter silence is killing me.
I know for sure this girl has feelings for me, but I just don't know how deep they go . I terms of physical contact a good-bye hug is about all that happens for now, but I would like at least to hold hands although I think the size difference in ours may make it awkward I'm not sure. Although sentimentally this would mean allot to me. I'm a kind, caring guy, and she means the world to me.
Thank you for reading and any advice you can offer on anything above, especially how to communicate all my feelings to her and how to "tune-in" to any I may not be getting from her would be more than fantastic.