I am in 9th grade. At school, I have a boyfriend that I have been going out with for almost 10 months. Besides him, I don't really have any other friends. I talk to people at school and am friends with them, but we aren't so close that we would "hang out" on the weekends or anything. It really is bothering me that I don't have a crowd that I fit in with. Next year, I will go to high school where there will be more people that I don't know so I might fit in better there. However I am thinking about switching schools for the last semester of my 9th grade year so I would go to a different high school. I want to get away from my past and from all of the regrets I have from the past. When I told my boyfriend, he told me to not leave and that I couldn't leave him.

I'm stuck. I don't know what to do. What if I don't fit in at the new school? Should I leave my boyfriend and the people I know? I hate making decisions on my own, so any help would be nice.

Dear friend,

I think you should stay and I'm sure that you are going to be just fine. Just be confident, there are no regrets all things you have done are lessons for you future actions (there are no mistakes). Try to be happy and grateful the rest will come to you.:)

Good luck my friend
Courage08

Making friends is a slow process, and going to another school is starting that process over, so what past are you running from?

I don't understand what the problem is. Are you breaking up with your boyfriend?

First of all, you don't have to decide anything alone. Talk to your parents. Second, where you go to school and whether you stay with this boyfriend are two different decisions.

It sounds like you have too many regrets for a girl your age. How about getting to the bottom of those feelings. Go to a school counselor, for example. Nothing you've done at this point in life is going to make a bit of difference to anyone in 10 years. YOu can make a clean slate just by changing what you don't like about your life, in your current school or somewhere else.

Choose your school based on where you think school would be best for you in terms of your future, your academic interests and so on.

To have a group of friendsd, I suggest you get involved in school, if not this year then make it a priority to always be in at least one extra curricular activity throughout the school year. I had a blast in high school even though I was shy because I joined the band and the paper, the swim team, and stage crew. Yeah, some kids thought these were nerdy interests but you know, the friends I made were really bright and funny, and are still my friends 30 years later. Our kids are friends, too.

People I know who hated high school were total lumps about school at the time... they didn't join a thing, and had a chip on their shoulder, like friends should be tripping over themselves to get to them and their boring, unactive lives.

Throughout life you will find that to find the people, you have to be out in the world doing things that are of interest to you. Might as well start. How aboutr signing up for intramural sports? If you don't feel confident, maybe a gym teacher would be willing to spend a little extra time working on your skills with you so you can feel you fit in better. Oth er options - youth choir at church, chess team, spanish club, or whatever your school has to offer.

As for the boyfriend, you know, as a 9th grader, a boyfriend should be a friend who's a boy who you have other feeilngs for and like spending time with. You are far too young to permit a boyfriend to influence decisions about your education, choice of other friends or interests. It sounds like you may really want to get away from him but aren't sure someone else will be there to spend time with. They will if you pursue your interests.