My situation is similar to a lot of others. I am 25 years old and have been married to my husband for 7 years and together 8, we have two children but have really lost what we had in the beginning. We recently moved in with his mother because he could not afford the bills and he did not want to give up his fishing and beer for our family. I then found out that the first 5 years we were together his mother was borrowing money to send him money that he claimed were for the bills, little did she or know. Upon moving in with his mom he has yet to step up and his famous words are its not my fault. He seems like he doesn't care about us at all. So I asked him why he chooses not to help with the bills and he says there is nothing for him to be decaiated to and why should he. He leaves in the car with a beer in side, no drivers licence and burns all the gas out just to tell me that it was his gas to burn so why should he replace it. He knows that we are months behind on everything including the mortgage and still does nothing. I am a stay at home mom and a student. I have tried to work but he always comes up with some reason as to why I should not work around other people. I met him when I was 15, shortly after a bad break up and there was no commintment between the two of us just dating and I made it clear that I was not interested in anything serious and saw another guy at the same time. Now I am painted as this cheater for all time because of the decisions that I made as a teenager. Upon us renewing our relationship we both agreed that it would be difficult but the past is the past and I was a teenager. 6 months later we were pregnant and he changed. He has no respect for anything or anyone, he is very hateful to his mother and treats her like a dirt rag, due to this she has had 2 minor strokes that left her in the hospital for 1 week and on anti-depressants. I am getting tired of walking on "eggshells" around him and have no idea what to do. I am so scared that my eating disorder is going to slowly come back to bite me in the butt.

Please help.

Do you have somewhere else that is safe that you and the kids could move to? You are paying on a mortgage? What about moving there, filing for legal separation or divorce, get possession of the house, and he pays you child support? Can you make your budget that way? You are in need of a counselor and lawyer.

Have either of you attempted counseling from clergy or otherwise? It sounds like he has some troubling issues with insecurities and immature, reckless behavior. Is there a possibility that he's clinically depressed?

He's not committed to your family and I doubt there is anything you can say or do to get him to change. He needs professional help and until he sees that for himself, its not likely that he'll change.

You might be able to find some affordable student resources at school that connect you with family counseling and/or guidance toward a more independent lifestyle. An environment like this isn't healthy for any of you... and now you have children to protect.

Good luck to you

I have asked him about going to see someone and he said no. We have tried everything you can think of and nothing is working. I am worried about what a judge would say though because I do not work, I am in school trying to finish a degree.

How long before you finish your degree and are able to work? Are you buying a home?

My family has been somewhat supportive but they will not help until they know {paper} that he is out of the picture. I can not take the house because it belongs to his mother. And she sees what is going on but wants to help her son and wants to believe in him so it makes it kind of difficult. She does not believe in quitting for any reason. I guess she believes that I should deal with his issues no matter the price. Yet she hates the way he is to and claims to be done but never is. I seem to have a huge trust issue with her to, because she is his mother. However, she has taken up for me when he got out of control.

George, I am 3 semesters away and have been given the chance to start a at home medical transcription position that will not interfere with school but will allow me to work. I have to purchase a car first. He had his cars repoed due to nonpayment and my car was totalled in a DUI accident, the guy hit me at 55 mph and totaled my car and that was all I had. The first car I bought in my name. So basically I have to start all over.

Who was DUI, and when was the accident?

The gentlemen that hit my car. I was at a red light when he hit me and he hit me so hard that my car ended up under the truck in front of me and that truck was in the car in front of it. It happened in March.

I hired a attorney but the guys insurance was third rate and did not cover any punative damages.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justbeme

I hired a attorney but the guys insurance was third rate and did not cover any punative damages.

---

That doesn't stop you from suing him, but that's something else. TIP, get that dead weight off your shoulders, and get away fom this very unhealthy situation, and make your life happier. He is a lousy role model for your kids and you will never succeed with him in your life.