Ex husband and I divorced (final in 2001) and son now 13. He has lived with his dad for past 6 years in TN. I had my son all long weekends, holidays, summer vacation. In our legal agreement we stated there be no child support, that we would provide for him in each others care. Now after 6 years my son wanted to come live with me here in NC. I have a 7 year old daughter and my son and daughter of course has known each other as brother and sister throughout the years, but when he moved here with us he sexually (orally)forcing her to do things to him, 3 times I found out. I caught him in the act. My husband immediately took him back to his dads to get him away from her. After month and a half my son was sent to a residential treatment center for what he done (along with lying,stealing and other behavior)Now his dad is angry that my son had to come back and after 6 years all og a sudden he wants child support from me. I have agreed to pay half all along. The need is less now,Can he do this?

You wrote: "all of a sudden he wants child support from me." How has he told you he wants child support? Phone, letter, summons, in person?

I'm a little confused. You should be sharing the costs of this treatment facility.

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Originally Posted by Djordan

Ex husband and I divorced (final in 2001) and son now 13. He has lived with his dad for past 6 years in TN. I had my son all long weekends, holidays, summer vacation. In our legal agreement we stated there be no child support, that we would provide for him in each others care. Now after 6 years my son wanted to come live with me here in NC. I have a 7 year old daughter and my son and daughter of course has known each other as brother and sister throughout the years, but when he moved here with us he sexually (orally)forcing her to do things to him, 3 times I found out. I caught him in the act. My husband immediatly took him back to his dads to get him away from her. After month and a half my son was sent to a residential treatment center for what he done (along with lying,stealing and other behavior)Now his dad is angry that my son had to come back and after 6 years all og a sudden he wants child support from me. I have agreed to pay half all along. The need is less now,Can he do this?

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If there is a legal agreement the only way to change it is to go back to Court and request a change - which the father may or may not do. For the moment it appears you agreed to pay half - no matter where your son is. Appears that would be half of the cost of the residential treatment center.

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Originally Posted by George_1950

You wrote: "all of a sudden he wants child support from me." How has he told you he wants child support? Phone, letter, summons, in person?

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He was mad that our son was now back in his care so he is trying to make me pay by going to court, and wants me to pay 426 a month and the monthly treatment cost 250 a month, so then he will have some to pocket... Our son will likely be in this facility for several years. His wife also moved out because she could not live with my son under the same roof, and so my ex husband is living with his mom... so there is less need for support than there ever has been!! My son living with his father was a big mistake for my sons sake, ex husband very verbally abusive.

You wrote: "In our legal agreement we stated there be no child support". Is the 'legal agreement' an order of the court? Has your former husband petitioned the court for a modification? Do you have a summons to appear in court? I understand what you are saying about less need for support.

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Originally Posted by ScottGem

I'm a little confused. You should be sharing the costs of this treatment facility.

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He just started in October and I am the one that found this place for him and agreed with his dad from the beginning that I would pay half.

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Originally Posted by George_1950

You wrote: "In our legal agreement we stated there be no child support". Is the 'legal agreement' an order of the court? Has you former husband petitioned the court for a modification? Do you have a summons to appear in court? I understand what you are saying about less need for support.

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The legal agreement is the permanent child parenting plan that we had done with a mediator, we never went to court, we have always paid for things when child was with him or myself. We also had in the agreement that we meet halfway unless otherwise agreed upon, but I have done all of the driving from NC to TN for 6 years.

If you don't have a order signed off by a judge there is no enforcable court order for support, so yes he can always go back and ask for a actual court order, or if there is a order a modification of the old order.

Now what I am surprised, if this is a live in facility, is that the facility actually has the custody and they should be going for child support from both of you.

No, the facility does not have custody, My ex has custody and the only reason is because I moved out of state and did not have the right paperwork. Anyway, Putting our son in this place was agreed by both of us, they used dad's income to determine the monthly cost of this treatment center that he resides at. We agreed to split cost when he started but I couldn't get the exact monthly cost from anyone so that I could pay my half.

Ask the facility for the exact monthly cost to determine if dad is paying his half. You may have to go to court and get something ordered from a judge if things get out of hand for you financially as dad just might be fibbing as to the real monthly cost.