I am here to see if anyone can help me in any way. You see I'm 26yrs old and been with my fiancée for almost 7yrs now and our sex life isn't the way it use to be. Here lately while we have sex I can't seem to have an orgasm no matter how hard we both try, even if he climate's first he still tries to get me to have an orgasm but it don't work. There's times where I will get so close but then it goes away. I have sat up all night crying before because I could not get anywhere. We have tried foreplay, oral, and different positions but nothing helps. Is there something wrong with me? Any help is appreciated.:(

I think you are thinking about it too much and are trying too hard. Read books such as The Joy of Sex (and its sequels), try fun stuff like roleplaying and fantasizing, perhaps use sex toys, just be naked together and hold/caress/kiss each other but not have sex. You'll be surprised that, once you are having fun and not being stressed and enjoying the moment, you will climax again.

Perhaps, the relationship is old and not going anywhere... there could be hidden resentments on your part, unrealistic expectations.

If you're an adult woman(21 plus) the *maximum* time you should spend with a man without getting married is two years. No longer!!

Girl, it is time to move on and experience more of life. :)

Love Life,

You are stressing too much about it... its about 90% mental with a woman, and if you aren't in the mental state to have one... then you aren't going to have one.

Now as has been said, there is a number of things that can keep you from getting in that mental state. You need to help identify what might be bothering you the most, and what has changed.

Well, don't think about it too much... Could he be too fast... try using toys to spice up, a vibrator can do yo good there...

Let me ask one question no one has touched on...

Prior to the "act" is there any alcohol or drugs involved? Many times alcohol will slow the reactive process down.

If your taking any kind of antidepressants that will do it,I have the same problem.I went off the meds and I returned to normal and soon as I started taking them again the same thing happened.it is really frustrating.

My best advice is sex and orgasm tied with mind AND try meditation will defenitely way u
Farward it will clear your bad memories and phobias and stop thinking negatively and finally
Carry on you will succeed.

Stop trying so hard, relax and enjoy the journey, like you use to. If you can get one on your own, then your stressing with the b/f.

From my point of view my dw orgasm begins the day or two before. Is she stresed, is she having problems, is her mouther giving her a hard time. Look at the isues of life. It is hard for a person to have an orgasime if thinking about the phone bill. Has he direcly or indirectly hert you. What does he say about marige, what does he say about kids? Does he still loove you. Do you still love him. If it was your dauter would you tell her to be in this relationship. I hope I have been able to help. You are loved you are beautiful, you are smart. Good luck!

Maybe you have something to tell him and you don't know haw.If you had an arguing with your fiancé or you think something's wrong,you should free your soul of daubt,it will eat you inside out.Had the same probleme with my girlfriend when she didn't knew how to tell me something she thaught it was wrong.Allmost ended our sexual relationship,we hade along discution instead of having sex that night and she was happy that I stood to listen to her.After that all went weal.Just clear your problems and stop being so tensed.

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Originally Posted by starrinpa

I am here to see if anyone can help me in any way. you see im 26yrs old and been with my fiancee for almost 7yrs now and our sex life isn't the way it use to be. Here lately while we have sex i can't seem to have an orgasm no matter how hard we both try, even if he climate's first he still tries to get me to have an orgasm but it dont work. There's times where i will get so close but then it goes away. I have sat up all night crying before because i could not get anywhere. we have tried foreplay, oral, and different positions but nothing helps. is there something wrong with me? any help is appreciated.:(

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Hi,
Well I don know... I lost my virginity with my boyfriend... after the first time we did it at least three times a day... mostly more... I enjoyed it but I couldn't get orgasm for whole god dam 2 month... it was only after that he tried oral sex on me and the first time I received oral sex I got two orgasms... still now I have difficulty getting vaginal orgasm but I still love intercourse... but he almost evreytime has to perform oral on me... its like oral sex is the key to that door... I get multiple oragasms with it... is your guy performing it the correct way... I mean do you feel your clitoris is stimulated in the right way?? tell him to lick your and finger you simultaneously... I get the best oragasm like that...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by starrinpa

I am here to see if anyone can help me in any way. you see im 26yrs old and been with my fiancee for almost 7yrs now and our sex life isn't the way it use to be. Here lately while we have sex i can't seem to have an orgasm no matter how hard we both try, even if he climate's first he still tries to get me to have an orgasm but it dont work. There's times where i will get so close but then it goes away. I have sat up all night crying before because i could not get anywhere. we have tried foreplay, oral, and different positions but nothing helps. is there something wrong with me? any help is appreciated.:(

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I know how you feel! I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year now (not quite as long as you and your fiance). He was the first person I have had sex with. But I can't seem to orgasm or even feel anything. I have never orgasmed and I haven't got the heart to say it to him now. I really care for him!

Want to try being with the same man for 27 years then andit never feels of anything much at all? For all these years I never knew that we as women where meant o orgasm I thiught it was a totally male thing to do, it's that bad for me

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Originally Posted by orgless

want to try being with the same man for 27 years then and it never feels of anything much at all? for all these years i never knew that we as women where meant o orgasm i thought it was a totally male thing to do, its that bad for me

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That's a bummer... is it because you never talked to him about it? After all we do need a little guidance since no two women respond exactly the same way to the same thing. Or like the same thing the same way. Many of us can help but we aren't good at reading minds. Or sometimes body language.

Of course there are the guys that are clueless or just don't care. But t hats not true for most of us.

Well I never knew about it either until last year did I but since then yes he knows and has been to therapy with me but still nothing happens at all, its just poking and prodding me at best

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Originally Posted by orgless

well i never knew about it either til last year did i but since then yes he knows and has been to therapy with me but still nothing happens at all, its just poking and prodding me at best

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There is a learning curve involved. THe poor guy might not have a clue what to do, Particularly if nobody ever helped him before. Its not exactly intuitive. Or like they say in the computer geek world. The female body isn't exactly "User Friendly". ( As in you need a manual to figure out how it works )

If he is trying, have patience particularly if you yourself don't know what it takes to push all your own buttons yet for whatever reason. I was lucky to have a Bi girlfriend who introduced me to this (and they took me under their wing so to speak, and yeah they were both older than me) when I was in college. Best education I ever received.

Something similar happened to me, we lay there for hours building up sexual tension between us, he stroked, played, touched and kissed every part of me and then we used sex toys. It sounds stupid but it does work. You also have a try to understand why this has happened are you stressed, depressed etc... good luck hope I helped u.