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-   -   Separation & divorce (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=170005)

  • Jan 7, 2008, 07:34 PM
    chattycat
    Separation & divorce
    My son called me tonight and told me that him and his wife are thinking about separating and he doesn't know what to do. They have a 6 month old baby girl and he doesn't want a divorce. He is crying and has me a wreck. I am so worried about him emotionally. She he leave his house or sleep on the couch . He wants to try and get therpy and try and work it out. What should I do, I am so worried
  • Jan 7, 2008, 08:01 PM
    JoeCanada76
    First of all, Worrying is not going to do you any good or him any good.

    Counseling and Therapy are very important, but it is up to your son to take these steps. Even with counseling there is no guarantee that things will work out. If one partner is the only one working at the relationship it is not going to work.

    Having a young baby adds a lot of stress to a marriage but as long as he is willing to get help through counseling and you are willing to be an listening ear and just be there for him when you can.

    He needs to go through this experience and learn and grow from it. I understand that it is normal to worry about your child but at the same time he is the one that needs to take steps to try to make it through.

    So encourage counseling for sure. Remember that you can not fix everything for your son, even though you feel you have too. I hope everything works out.

    Joe
  • Jan 7, 2008, 08:43 PM
    Fr_Chuck
    As the parent, you love him and listen to him and stay out of his businessness.

    He should try and get into counseling with her, normally divorce does not happen just because of the actions of one or the other, but things that happen that both people forget to work on after a while.
  • Jan 8, 2008, 10:34 AM
    George_1950
    Sorry about your son's difficulty; as you know divorce is now a fact of life, but like teenage pregnancy, no one knows what to do about it.

    You wrote: "She he leave his house or sleep on the couch." He can stay on the couch as long as they are not fighting.

    You wrote: "He wants to try and get therapy and try and work it out." What does his wife want to do?

    And, your wrote: "What should I do, I am so worried." Be available to listen to him and her, as long as you are not the referee in a fight. Try not to worry about something you have no control over. Keep an ear and eye out for the baby.
  • Jan 9, 2008, 07:27 PM
    talaniman
    Besides listening, and being supportive, try not to worry, or get in his business. He is a big boy, and needs to handle his business.

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