My ex broke up with me last July and hooked up with someone shortly thereafter. September was when I last spoke to her we both said some pretty hurtful things and she called and said she never wanted to hear from me again. So that’s what happened I did not contact her at all. Today she emails me wanting to know how I am doing. On her my space page she has on there that she is totally in love with her new friend. So why is she contacting her ex if she is so totally in love? Why does a person have to play games like this. It is taking me a long time to accept that she left and I am getting there but then today getting her email made me realize how much I still care for her. Does anyone have any thoughts why someone plays with another feelings like this? I just don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t plan on replying it wouldn’t do me any good. I don’t want to hear how great her new relationship is and for her to know I still care. I just don’t thinks she is being fair.

1. She contacts you because she misses that void in her life... and wants you to be her friend.

2. on her myspace page, it says "totally in love with her new friend" or "new boyfriend?"

New friend could be a TV show, a cookie, ice cream, or really... her new female friend. It could mean anything. Don't jump to conclusions. New boyfriend, that's a different thing.

It is her girlfriend that she hooked up with right after she left me. I found her my space page last November and she put on there that she finally found someone that completes her and she changes her saying from time to time back in November it said She is enjoying life thanks to her new partner after I read that I didn't go back on anymore because it hurt too much. I checked it today after I received her email because I wanted to see if they were still together and she updated it today saying she is totally in love. I know she is talking about her girlfriend she left me for. My question is why is she contacting me when she is so totally in love? Why hurt me even more?

My bad on the assumption of the boyfriend. I'm not so sure she's actually doing this to hurt you, but more simply to see if you're ready to be friends again. Of course, there is a good chance she's doing this to see if she'll get a reaction out of you, to see if you still care.

Regardless, since you're not over her, initiate absolutely no contact. If you want, don't reply to her e-mails. Don't check her myspace (although I'm guilty of doing this to my ex every once in a while)

Simply move on with your life like she never existed.

Look, I have no idea how lesbian relationships work, but the below happens with male/female so it may fit.

She's contacting you because she is starting to lose interest in the new friend and she is laying out her next rope to swing to.

You said that she hooked up with someone shortly thereafter. This is a typical pattern, and she fits the pattern. It doesn't mean she is going to swing to you, but she is getting the feelers out so she won't be alone.

I call what she is doing as taking your temperature. Seeing if you still have the door open for future reference. Whatever her motivations, let her play her game without you. Stay on NC.

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On her my space page she has on there that she is totally in love with her new friend

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For the uniformed, you can have more than one friend. (with benefits)