Ask Me Help Desk - Bridesmaid dresses

Who buys the bridesmaid dresses... I'm getting married in oct. and I'm clueless as to who pays for what. Do I buy them or do they buy them? I have never even been to a wedding. I'm trying not to stress but there is a lot to do lol... and who pays for the honeymoon... me or my dad?

Normally, your bridesmaids will pay for the dresses. Your honeymoon is paid for by your husband or the both of you. Now if your parents or his parents want to give this as a wedding present - then that is different. But, traditionally, that would be paid for by the groom.

As for other things - the rehearsal dinner is paid for by the groom's side. The wedding and reception is paid by your side. He does pay for a portion of the flowers. And pays for the minister.
This is all traditional - if your wedding isn't - then all bets are off.

When I got married, my parents gave me a budget. If I wanted anything outside of that, then I paid for it.

OK... lol... thanks a million !

So many variables. :) Part of this answer will depend on the type of bridesmaid dresses you choose. If you are choosing the dresses to all be the same and are in a style that most gals will not wear to another function, a lot of brides families or bride pays for them. If the dresses are a style that can be worn to other functions and are a style that works well for the gals, most will pay for their own. The trend has been lately that each girl chooses a dress she will wear that is in her color, and style, yet not clashing with the color scheme and style of the wedding and it is good if you go with the gals so you can have input in the dress since it is your wedding but if you go this route, you might need to be a little willing to give in to not having dresses really match. If the dresses are floor length, they can always be shortened to fit the gals needs later. It seems there is etiquette but nothing is written in stone these days.

I would suggest checking on the cost and the style you would choose, meet with the gals, see if it fits their budget and liking. If you can tell they aren't thrilled, you could let them know you are purchasing them or go another route.

If both you and your fiancé work full time jobs, you might be able to plan a nicer honeymoon if both pay part. This is something you and your fiancé need to visit about. This is just the beginning of managing money together. If your dad (parents) or his or he chooses to pay, fantastic.

Each person has their idea of what a perfect wedding for them would be. For me, it was a quiet service in a church with my best friend and her fiancé, and my precious pastor friend. I was never real crazy about getting married... was in school, working and pretty happy but my guy was older and anxious to marry and get settled. I am the youngest in my family. My mother and I terribly close. I didn't think I would go through with it if she and daddy was there. She thought she would cry. I had her blessings to just go get married. My fiancé brought flowers to my home, picked me up and away we went... met my friends at the church, said our vows and got out of dodge!! My daughter however wanted the whole 9 yards and that's what she got as did my son and his wife. Lots of money, nice photos but I would just caution you to have a wedding you will be happy with but when other's begin giving you advice on things you should do during the service, etc. just talk together and you and your fiancé plan a wedding that will be special to each of you as you begin your life together. You will be just as married if the wedding cost $100.00 as you would be if it costs $10,000.00. Sometimes, paying for the wedding becomes a hardship month after month into the marriage. Just have fun, ask God's blessings on coming together as one and have the wedding you choose. I have now been married 7 months and 37 years... two kids... five grandchildren... and didn't have any heavy debt to pay after the wedding. My husband paid for the honeymoon. But that was a different time. Just do what works for the two of you and your families. Just keep perspective. Hard to do with so much excitement going on around you and by the way... "CONGRATULATIONS"... on your upcoming wedding. :)

I would suggest that you visit a florist of your choosing. Most of them will have a person that can meet with you without an appointment but wouldn't hurt to call first. Just tell them you are unsure about details but was hoping they might help. They can tell you who usually pays for what flowers and you will need to know answers to these questions anyway but they usually know the etiquette of other details of wedding in your local area and most are kind enough to give you helpful hints. Choose a florist you plan to use of course. You would not want to just use someone to get information. Tell them when the wedding will be, ask what flowers you or your family will pay for and what the groom is responsible for. They will have books to look at. Just be honest and tell them you don't have knowledge of weddings and do they know also who pays for (bridesmaid dresses, etc.) You will gain knowledge of what you need to do for flowers and also, hopefully much more useful information. This would save you hiring a wedding planner. When you go to stores to look at possible bridesmaid dresses, the people helping you at bridal shops, can also answer questions you have. I hope this has been of some help. Best to you and your fiancé.

As far as him paying for stuff... I would help out in every way I can... we have been sharing our expenses for almost two years and living together for a little more then that... so I will understand if we didn't go on a honeymoon right away... no big deal to me... hes picking everything... I figure its just as much his wedding as it is mine... hes actually excited about it... I didn't think guys even cared about their wedding day... lol... ok well anyhew thanks for your help

My daughter went to a wedding this summer they had 3 colors in it. The wedding party had those 3 colors to choose from in pastels.
It was even requested that the guest wear those colors. In addition to the basic black and white. So I guess you could say 5 shades to choose from.

Quote:

Originally Posted by babyblonde430

as far as him paying for stuff...i would help out in every way i can...we have been sharing our expenses for almost two years and living together for a little more then that....so i will understand if we didnt go on a honeymoon right away...no big deal to me....hes picking everything....i figure its just as much his wedding as it is mine....hes actually excited about it... i didnt think guys even cared about their wedding day...lol...ok well anyhew thanks for your help

LOL, I didn't think guys enjoyed wedding either but my husband was also excited about the wedding which totally threw me. He kept asking if I would later regret not having a huge church service like my sister had. Knowing how I am, I knew I would not and have never regretted it. I felt maybe he might have regretted us getting married with just the minister and friend and fiancé. It would have worked a real hardship on him financially though as his parents could not have helped at all with expenses.

My son really enjoyed helping his fiancé plan their wedding also and enjoyed the process. Surprises all around in this life. Ha.

Each of us just do what is right for us and I know you will have a beautiful wedding.

Blessings on your special day! :p

Who pays for the brides dress?