Hello,

I met my wife approx 3 years ago, we moved a tad to fast, as she got pregnant 8 months after we met. We do have an amazing little boy, who is 15 months now, he is my world and I adore him so much.
The thing is I am terribly unhappy with my marriage, things were rocky even when we were engaged, but we went through with it, in hopes that it was just all the stress that was doing this to us at the time.
I have a great job, that is also very high stress, working 60 plus hours a week. I would rather not work so much, but my wife works very little in her chosen profession, that does not pay much. The thing is, I new I was doing the Lions share in this relationship, but I was hoping that she would take on some more of the responsibilities once we were married. After working a long 14 hour day, I walk into the door, my son is handed to me, I give him a bath and put him to bed just about every night. I love him to death, but it makes it tough sometimes to just walk in and having to do this, after have been in a high stress environment all day.
Usually the house is not cleaned up, or the laundry done, so I find I spend more time doing that before I finally settle in. I do most if not all of the cooking, as she hates to do it, so never is there dinner waiting for me. I pay all the bills, do all the grocery shopping, and all the normal things a husband should do like, the garbage, outside work etc..
I am just very frustrated, with the situation I have put myself in, I am not even sure if I love her anymore. I get zero afffection from her, after having given her hundreds of massages and maybe getting 3 back in return, I have stopped that all together. Sex has always had to be planned with her, I want to be spontaneous.
I am not hard to look at, and keep myself in good shape, and have had all kinds of opportunities, but I don't want to be that type of guy.
My main concern is my son, I don't want to be without him, I don't want him waking in another house, or have some other male figure try to parent him down the road. This is very scary for me, I know that if I didn't have my son, I would have sent her packing long ago, but I do have a son.. I have gotten to be very depressed over this whole thing, and I am thinking I need medication to control this downhill spin.. Help

Mike

Wow! Boy have you had your hands full. I can tell you are in a terrible situation right now, and I know you are trying to think only of your son (which is amazing). You have to understand that children, no matter how little pick up on these things. They can feel it in the air so to speak. It is inevitable that this marriage is not going to work. The older your child gets, the harder it is going to be for him to go through a divorce (which we both know will eventually happen). It's also very obvious that your wife would not be able to take care of your son by herself. I don't know much about custody battles as far as that is concerned so I won't comment on that. I just know that the longer you wait to finalize the ineveitable loss of your marriage, the harder it will be on everybody. I'm sorry you are stuck in such a situation and I wish that there was more I could say or do to help. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will keep us posted. Your little boy is lucky to have a dad that cares so much for him!!!

<3 Leslie

Divorce shouldn't be the first answer. Do you still love your wife? Do you believe in marriage? The get some professional help OR got to a Marriage Encounter weekend. My husband and I were a team couple for M.E. Google Marriage Encounter for more help. When we were presenters on the weekend, we saw many marriages turn around and become successful. You have to learn how to talk to each other, how to communicate - and they even have "rules" for fighting! <GBG> Write me back if you want more information. I am not telling you that M.E. is the ONLY answer, but believe me, it helps more than any other program I know.

You work hard at your job, marriage is no different. Too many people figure if they can't have the before marriage relationship, heck, they will go looking for someone else. Anything worth having is worth working at, instead of taking the easy way out.

Poor guy, you both jumped in to fast to establish communications, and get to have fun, getting to know each other, and learn to work together. Its not to late, but you may need a professional to guide you through the process of talking, listening to each other, and dividing the work load. I would advise counseling for you both, for now. It ain't easy, but with work you can at least be able to work together to build a life you both enjoy. Your overwhelmed now, because you can't do it by yourself.