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-   Pregnancy & New Motherhood (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=262)
-   -   Very confused (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=168997)

  • Jan 5, 2008, 06:30 AM
    antoneete
    Very confused
    I had intercourse on my ovulating days I had a miscarrigde in sept 07 at 6weeks and 7days we want another baby my doc says my levels are back so I can start trying but I have my period today and its painful and upsetin because I'm not pregnant I lost my 1st baby eva and it really hurted me I sat and tha hosptial crying my eyes out because I wanted my baby but if everythin happens for a reason why was I conceived anyway I kind of blame myslef because I didn't know until I was 6wks and 7days and I was smoking and partying but I'm a real person also would be a good mother I want my baby back and conceive I would love any advice or helpful sites thank u:confused:
  • Jan 5, 2008, 09:10 AM
    life1973happened
    Dear confused,
    You sound so young. I am so sorry for the loss of the baby you named Eva. Miscarriages are rather high for women and more common than you might think. 52% of women over the age of 45 have the highest chance of a miscarriage. Where 12% of women 20 - 29 are the lowest at risk. Keeping in my mind no outside influences that could put the fetus at risk.

    A miscarriage at 6 weeks could coincide with the presence of infections or viruses such as the human papilloma virus type associated with ASCUS. This misfortune is due to chance alone, and unfortunately nothing can be done to prevent it. The chances of delivering a healthy child after a naturally miscarrying are still high.

    I know you want to be a mother, and as a mother I can tell you it's a wonderful experience. But you do sound young, and I want you to know that you don't have to hurry and be a mother. Take time to heal your broken heart. Let your body heal. You mentioned another person, take time together and regroup. If you were drinking and smoking, as young people often do, maybe you are not ready to grow up so quickly, as being a mother will force you to do.

    Being a mom will not be able to replace the loss of Eva, if it was to be a litte girl. This loss can be a second chance for you to take a moment while your body and heart heal and prioritize your life and your future. Because as I said as wonderful as babies are, they are hard work and require a very grown-up reality of how tough it can be. You don't have to be in such a rush.

    If you are unmarried and young, maybe the reason for your loss is a sign to put your life in order, enjoy the highs and lows of being young. Make sure the man you are with is a man you want to spend the rest of your life with, and in turn be the father to your next child.

    Life has a funny way of giving us second chances when we don't realize why or see the need at the time for one. Don't waste this second chance to find what it is you want out of life and start taking action to turn that plan into reality. When the time is right, you will no doubt give birth to a beautiful child and be the mother you were meant to be.

    Slow down and enjoy being young because it passes us by far too quickly.

    Good luck to you...
  • Jan 5, 2008, 10:36 AM
    J_9
    I believe you mean HOMEOSTASIS. Homeostasis is defined as
    Quote:

    a tendency of biological systems to maintain stability while continually adjusting to conditions that are optimal for survival.
    Homeostatic mechanisms are necessary for the body to regain its balance when disease or injury occurs and to maintain that balance if it is to remain healthy.
    So, homeostasis is actually a STABLE environment for baby to live and grow in.

    Again, to reiterate what the others have said, if you are trying for a baby the partying has to stop. You should get on prenatal vitamins now. Every woman of childbearing years should be taking vitamins that contain folic acid so as to prevent neural tube defects that tend to occur before a woman even know she is pregnant. These defects are not reversible.

    Now, as to why you had your miscarriage, the cause is typically unknown. If your doctor says you can begin to try again, go for it. BUT stop the smoking and drinking, eat healthy, take a prenatal vitamin, and take care of yourself.
  • Jul 15, 2009, 06:16 PM
    jennylynn82

    I had a miscarriage about 2 years ago and I was so upset that I didn't think I would ever get pregnant and now I think I am but am not sure and it scares me that if I am then the same thing will happen again, but I know that whatever happens God is behind me and when my time is right it will happen

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