I have several guy friends and they are like "tough guys", they arnt really sensitive, they are just manly mans. It seems like they have never really been spoiled or have gotten a lot of love or affection. For example the one guy had a girlfriend who was like a tom boy and wasn't really girly and she didn't seem to be really affectionate and all. I don't think he really had his mom around most of his life either. Anyway if I were to date a guy like that do you think I could help him be lets say more opened and caring and everything. Do you think you can help improve someone in that aspect? I would just want to make sure the guys treats me right but at the same time I would want to help him and show him love and that I care for him. I'm just worried how he will act. I don't think he really acted caring with his previous girlfriend and I'm not sure if someone could act different if they were with a different person. Anyone's input would be great. Thanks.

I hope this makes sense.

You said, "do you think you can help improve someone in that aspect?" short answer, no. He will accept help only if he wants it. Good question.

I just thought that if you tend to hang around a certain person a lot like a boyfriend or girlfriend you tend to act like them a little or act certain ways like they do. What do you think about that?

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Originally Posted by George_1950

You said, "do you think you can help improve someone in that aspect?" short answer, no. He will accept help only if he wants it. Good question.

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I think you are right, sometimes behavior can rub off on a significant other. The question is are you going to be OK with it if this guy doesn't change the way he shows his emotions. If the answer is no, then steer clear of a relationship with him. As much as we want to sometimes, we can't change someone just by dating them.

But, on the other hand, maybe if you guys really hit it off and he saw you being really open and affectionate, maybe he would like it and start acting the same way. But there is just no way to know what will happen, so that's why you have to decide if you can handle it if he stays the same as he is now.

Some people just aren't as comfortable showing their emotions as others. It could be that this guy and his ex were affectionate in private, but just not in front of people. Some couples just don't like PDAs. (public displays of affection)

Just make sure that you will be happy before you consider a relationship with him. You have to be with someone who fulfills your needs and makes you happy too. Don't be so focused on wanting to help someone that you sell yourself short when it comes to a relationship. Good luck! :)

Thank you for the advice:)

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Originally Posted by peggyhill

I think you are right, sometimes behavior can rub off on a significant other. The question is are you going to be ok with it if this guy doesn't change the way he shows his emotions. If the answer is no, then steer clear of a relationship with him. As much as we want to sometimes, we can't change someone just by dating them.

But, on the other hand, maybe if you guys really hit it off and he saw you being really open and affectionate, maybe he would like it and start acting the same way. But there is just no way to know what will happen, so that's why you have to decide if you can handle it if he stays the same as he is now.

Some people just aren't as comfortable showing their emotions as others. It could be that this guy and his ex were affectionate in private, but just not in front of people. Some couples just don't like PDAs. (public displays of affection)

Just make sure that you will be happy before you consider a relationship with him. You have to be with someone who fulfills your needs and makes you happy too. Don't be so focused on wanting to help someone that you sell yourself short when it comes to a relationship. Good luck! :)

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From a guy's point of view...

I've been compared to dr. gregory house. I am very open, honest, blunt, insulting, and very closed off. Many girls are attracted to me simply because they think that I am bitter at the world, and they think that they can pull a dr. cameron and "heal" me. You can't heal me. No one can.

Don't get me wrong. I am happy. Truly happy.

As peggyhill said. You may change him... but more often than not, you won't. If you're OK with him NOT changing, then great. Don't go into the relationship thinking you will though.

When it comes to changing behaviors, my perspective has always been that it is easier to fall off a ladder that fall up a ladder. If you are trying to improve someone, you are going to have problems; just my view.

Forget it, females that try to change a man, will end up miserable. Find one that's already the way you like them.

Like Peggy said like him for who he is

And don't expect much more!