Ex-Girlfriend wants to get back together - Slept with "friend" multiple times
My former girlfriend and I have dated on and off for 4 years, 2.5 of those years were in a long distance relationship. I have broken up with her twice during that time and both times we have decided to get back together. The reason I broke up with her on the last occasion was because she wanted to “settle down” and get more serious. She was completely dedicated and in love with me and I just wasn’t ready to go that direction in my life.
We last broke up in August 2007 and didn’t speak for approximately 2 months other than the occasional email. I dated someone else (and a few others) from September to November but wasn’t content. My ex and I started talking/emailing again in November and I decided in December that I was completely in love with her and ready to fully commit myself.
When I went to her to tell her that I was fully prepared to move or make whatever change necessary in order to make things work, she broke down and admitted to sleeping with someone in my circle of friends twice back in October. She claims that both times were “drunken hookups” and that she realizes the mistake was completely self-destructive. The guy is someone I used to bartend with and a complete @sshole to women… so it is disgusting to me that she falls into the category of all the “others.” In addition, a number of my current friends are in the know about the situation as they witnessed the beginnings at the bar that night. They never told me because she and I were broken up and they thought it would only cause more pain.
My question is this – do you think I have a right to be angry and/or upset? It was me that broke up with her (for the 2nd time) and I was also sleeping with someone else during our time apart. I understand that she has a right to sleep with whomever she chooses, but I feel as though it was a completely disrespectful move on her behalf. I would have never done the same – in fact – I didn’t even want to take my “new girl” to that particular town for fear of my ex seeing us together and becoming upset.
I know she was faithful during our time together, but I wonder if these kind of self-destructive mistakes are likely to continue throughout her life?
Additionally, as prideful as it is, it is difficult for me to get over the fact that I spent 4 years with this girl, and the @sshole was able to get her pants off without even taking her on a date. I have cut this friend off, but he is still in “the circle.” Any thoughts on that situation would also be helpful.
Thank you so much for reading.