I know I said that I am waiting till I am married before I ever have a sexual relationship again, but its harder than I thought it would be. I am very frustrated. Its not like I am in a situation where I can have sex for a while and If I was I can't bring myself to just sleep with anyone and I am going to stick by what I said I was going to do. I argued with some friend of mine because the crazy guy thinks that women get hysteria from not having an orgasm for like a few months. I told him that is some old wives tale junk made up by some horny doctor who was just trying to make up another one of the many medical excuses that doctors come up with just to help men get laid. Im going on three years with out sex now and I feel like Im losing it. What if I do get hysteria. What is hysteria anyway? I just looked at a weird picture with a guy wearing what looks like goggles on and all I could think about was what I would do to his mouth. ACk! What can I do? Where can I go? IM dying.

Wow sweetie, I really admire your tenacity and detrirmination. And I mean that seriously. I think if someone is a virgin I think its much easier to wait until marrige because they have never expirenced it. Its another to have tasted the forbidden fruit, and then not have eaten it for awhile (no pun intended). If it were me, I know I couldn't wait, but that's me. Not to say that I would sleep with a guy a barely know. But if I really liked the person and I knew him really well and the respect was there, I would go for it. But what your feeling is pretty normal. Your only human. If you can honestly hold out than that's absolutely awsome, if not it's not the end of the world. If you feel its right with someone and you love them then I personally don't see the problem. Are you in a relationship? If you are and things are great then go for it. If not then hold out for the right guy. Like I said "your only human" you have needs! But I really do hope you can stick by your guns and do what you feel is right for you. You're a better woman then me.LOL!! :D

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Originally Posted by crankiebabie

I know I said that I am waiting till I am married before I ever have a sexual relationship again, but its harder than I thought it would be. I am very frustrated. Its not like I am in a situation where I can have sex for a while and If I was I can't bring myself to just sleep with anyone and I am going to stick by what I said I was going to do. I argued with some friend of mine because the crazy guy thinks that women get hysteria from not having an orgasm for like a few months. I told him that is some old wives tale junk made up by some horny doctor who was just trying to make up another one of the many medical excuses that doctors come up with just to help men get laid. Im going on three years with out sex now and I feel like Im losing it. what if I do get hysteria. what is hysteria anyway? I just looked at a weird picture with a guy wearing what looks like goggles on and all I could think about was what I would do to his mouth. ACk! what can I do? where can I go? IM dying.

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Crankie, don't be too hard on yourself, try to have a positive attitude and outlook. I respect you for deciding to save yourself until your married. But if you do get intimate with someone, don't be ashamed of it, you deserve to be happy and content. If you're not sure about a relationship or if you don't want to do something sexually with a man, then you should wait. Give yourself time to work through conflicting desires, this is an important part of self respect. Try not to let men upset you or make your decisions, if they respect you, they'll wait too. If you get sexually frustrated, you can gain sexual self esteem by pleasuring yourself. You might consider trying a vibrator, as they are used by women to help them learn how to experience orgasm. Don't think of what you have to do tomorrow or years from now. Think of what you need to do today to take care of yourself. There will come a day when you will find a caring man to be with that will cherish you.

Hi,
Not being a woman, I can't specifically relate to your problem! But, I can from my own perspective as a man. You said you're waiting for marriage before you have a sexual relationship "again".
Why??
If you need it, go for it.
Some of us have bigger sex drives than others. Some can go a whole lifetime without having sex with another person... believe it or not. NO, it's not me!
Sex is one of nature's way of releasing tension, enjoying yourself and enjoying another person.
I think it's true to say that you really don't know when you will get married again... next month?. next year?. 5 yrs from now? No one knows. So, if you tie this to having sex again, it might be a long, long time!
Find yourself a man you like, and who likes you. Go for it.
Happy New Year, and I do wish you the best, crankiebabie. We all have decisions to make, and having sex with someone you like is nothing new to this world!

If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. If it doesn't feel right waiting, don't wait. What are your actual reasons for not doing it again?

It seems like you're only hurting yourself by holding back. And you obviously don't want to be hurting.

I think you should look back to the roots - why did you choose not to have sex until marriage again?

Hi is it because you are religious as a couple of my mates familys are and even my mates say at this age they will probably wait until marrige because there family don't want them too and they believe it is better to wait but they are not religious and don't believe in God they just think that is the right thing to do

I have not been in good relationship in the past. I have been told that a good man wants a woman who is not going to give it up to them. I want to have a good man so I am waiting. ALso it feels like something that I not only have to do to get this kind of man but for myself I must do it. Don't know why its just something I have to do.

I can understand how it can be very frustrating, and I hope you can make it through. I think what you are doing is very respectable. Yes sex is awesome, but it shouldn't be the core of the relationship. Whatever man you do end up with... if you 2 grow together and get to know each other, and end up falling in love with each other without sex, that is totally awesome! If the man is wanting to get to know you more, cares for you, etc, then he will be resptful enough and will aggree to wait until marriage. I have seen sooooo many marriages fall apart because of sex issues... one or the other cheats because their current sex life is boring, etc. Whereas, if your relationship grew on feelings, friendship and trust without sex involved during that growth, I think the marriage would last. This is just my opinion though. My longest relationship was almost 4 years long, and we never had sex (we were both virgins at the time). Granted, I was quite a bit youner (15 to almost 19), and we broke up for reasons I won't disclose (too long of story.. lol). But my point is, we always had fun together. We absolutely loved and adored each other, and we were best friends at the same time. I think that too many relationships have sex involved too much at the beginning of that relationship, when there are other, more important things to think about and find out about each other during the initial sprouting of the relationship :).

I know I have not demonstrated this, however, considering you (crankiebabie) might remember my post from about a month ago. But one decision I have made is possibly what you are doing. I am going to wait until my head is a little more cleared up. What I wrote above, though... that's what I wish I could find in a relationship.

Pretty, I have never used a vibrator or toy in my life. They sort of scare me.

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Originally Posted by crankiebabie

Pretty, I have never used a vibrator or toy in my life. They sort of scare me.

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Me too. I haven't used a vibrator yet. LOL. However, some of my girlfriends use vibrators and they swear by it. Vibrators give a strong, steady, rhythmic stimulation that brings about incredible orgasms. Good for you for waiting for the right guy to share your heart, body and soul with. There's a lot of single guys out there, and I'm sure you will meet someone that will respect you and your decision. I wish you all the best. :)

You are doing a great thing, crankiebabie. I think it takes a lot of heart and perserverence to do what your doing. I really respect you a lot, and your decision. And about the whole vibrator thing, believe me there is nothing to fear. You may actually really enjoy it.lol!

I've never used a vibrator either so I'll leave that alone,:) I do however respect your wish to stay celibate until the right guy shows up,so you know there will be times that the ole body will test you to see if you are for real!Try not to be frustrated but its only human and the feeling will pass.Stay busy with the things you like to do to keep from dwelling on those human urges or else you'll drive yo' po' little self crazy!Stay positive, you'll meet some one and we all know he'll be in a lot of trouble!:) Stick by your guns!Good luck:cool:

I rarely have sex here in ireland and I just go to asia 2 times a year and really get as much as I can there, I do no bother with european woman anymore, I do not like myself too much for taking the easy way out but there was too much booze involved with sex here and I have given up booze,, so I have really got to cop my self on and not be going with hookers abroad, I wonder doea anyone have this problem,, mike

As a male my view is that if a girl is willing to give it up too easily or too soon, generally I would feel that girl would not be a girl a could start to date seriously, I suppose you just kind of lose respect in someway, obviously there are relationships that do last when couples sleep with each other early on in the relationship, but that's just my general opinion. As for waiting until you get married, I agree with the others, if you meet a man who you care for and you feel feels the same way about you, if a relationship has to that stage what are you gaining from not sleeping with him, he wolud already have respect for you and care for you, so all that is happening is your missing out on the fun of sex.

Hi, I got a girl pregnant and she had to get an abortion I hardly knew very well but I was gutted about it and she cared very little, I even met her years later she reiterated how badly I took her getting an abortion, I I kept going out with her back then but I had lost respect I guess cause she gave it up to easily,, regds mike

Nympthet You are experencing something that males experence about every fifteen minutes every day starting at about age twelve and runs through the sixties... self abuse helps... hahahaha