OK, Well me and my husband have been together for over 3 years and we have a beautiful daughter together. Although our relationship is pretty good we have our downs! And when I say downs I mean horible like un bearable! Our relationship has slowly gone down hill due to his violence and anger! He has hit me on numeros occations and threated on my life however I am still in love with him. But to the point my husbands best friend has been there through out all of these years and has took up for me many times, where it has caused fits between them! Latley his friend has been around a lot and I am feeling confused because I have feeling for his friend that keep getting stronger and I can't help it I know it is wrong and I know that it would not be right for me to pursue his friend but I can't help he has alwas been there for me and protected me from my husband when we are fighting! We have came very close to kissing and stuff but I am affriad that if me and his friend get any closer that it will distroy my relationship with my husband and even though things aren't always good I'm not sure if I want to throw our family away but I am also not sure that I can't put up with my husband violence anymore I am tired of always having bruses and I want to feel loved and protected like his friend always treats me!I am so confused! Please help!:confused:

You need to LEAVE.

Your marriage is unhealthy.

Jumping into a relationship with his friend wouldn't be any MORE healthy.

Do you want your daughter to grow up thinking it's okay to have a man hit her? Or that it's okay to be in love with someone not her husband?

You need to get out--go to your family, go to a shelter, go to the police, go to the hospital--JUST GO!

Get healthy and happy for YOU. Stand on your own feet, and if your husband wants to make things work with you, the ultimatum is that he goes to counseling and takes anger management courses. YOU need counseling too--why do YOU think it's okay for your husband to hit you?

Don't do ANYTHING with his friend. Period. But please do something for you--go away from your husband, take your daughter, and work on being happy and healthy. You don't need a man to be happy, you only need to love yourself.

You need to separate from your husband and keep his best friend away because that relationship will never work. Certainly you don't love his violence or anger; how is that going to get better?

Jayden,

Your definition of love is getting crisscrossed.

Let me put it this way, do you think that being beaten is a demonstration of your husbands love for you? Is that how you would expect your husband to show love to his daughter?

My suggestion is for you and your daughter to head for a spousal abuse center immediately. Get out before he loves you right into the grave.

If you want to try to save your marriage, make sure he understands that if he hits you or your daughter again, you will prosecute him for assault. Again, I suggest you stay out!

As to his friend, don't go there. Right now you have enough upheaval, please do not increase the load on yourself by jumping feet first into a new relationship.

You do need to dump the husband, that's a given, but don't confuse the gratitude you feel for his friend, who defends you, with love. Because the feeling is intense, doesn't mean it can sustain a relationship. Get help to get your life together, as you are to hurt, and abused to make sense of your feelings, and you need to recognise that.

I think that your husband's friend has been cast into the role of rescuer and it's cauing you to have very confused feelings. I think that you and your daughter need to get out of that situation now, for your own safety. But I don't think that you should go running into the arms of his friend. Go stay with a trusted friend or relative. Right now you need to work on yourself before you can think about any kind of relationship with anyone else.

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Originally Posted by JAYDENBABIE06

OK, Well me and my husband have been together for over 3 years and we have a beautiful daughter together. Although our relationship is pretty good we have our downs! And when i say downs i mean horible like un bearable! Our relationship has slowly gone down hill due to his violence and anger! He has hit me on numeros occations and threated on my life however i am still in love with him. But to the point my husbands best friend has been there through out all of these years and has took up for me many times, where it has caused fits between them! Latley his friend has been around alot and i am feeling confused because i have feeling for his friend that keep getting stronger and i can't help it i know it is wrong and i know that it would not be right for me to pursue his friend but i can't help he has alwas been there for me and protected me from my husband when we are fighting! We have came very close to kissing and stuff but i am affriad that if me and his friend get any closer that it will distroy my realtionship with my husband and even though things arn't always good i'm not sure if i want to throw our family away but i am also not sure that i can't put up with my husband violence anymore i am tired of always having bruses and i want to feel loved and protected like his friend always treats me!I am so confused! Please help!:confused:

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I am in a very similar situation. I am in love with my husbands best friend & he feels the same. It was nothing we planned on. I have come to realize though through the help of people on here that I need to leave my hubby before I start a new relationship. For the sake of your daughter you need to leave as well. She will catch on to what is going on & go on to think that the way he treats you is acceptable. He may even turn his hand to her when she gets older. Get out now and I am sure the best friend will still be there to lend an ear. Over time you may find that he is the right one for you & your daughter but give it time 1st.