I am currently pregnant by my ex boyfriend, he is in the military and leaving for iraq in about 2 weeks. I would like him to give up his parental rights since he will not be involved in my child's life by choice. He has finally agreed but he will be in iraq when I have her. I was told a letter can be written signed in front of a notory but a judge has to make the finally decision. I need to know what this letter needs to consist of and if this is true.

And why would you want him to give up rights, he will not use.
And most likely the judge would not consider it anyway, and no a letter signed will not be enough, he will have to appear in court, this is a seroius matter, not a minor thing.

2nd, nothing at all can be done till the baby is born, and he is either named on the birth certificate or it is proven he is the father by a DNA test.
Then he can file for visitation, or ask to have his rights given up, but since the courts will order child support anyway, does he know that he will still have to pay child suppot even if he does not get to see the child.

So the letter needs to be forgotten and you need to wait till the baby is born, and then prove he is the father, and have a court hearing