Ask Me Help Desk - Can I get my kids?

My ex-wife has full legal and physical custody of our two boys because when we got a divorce she led me to believe that a father couldn't get full or even joint custody in the state of Mississippi. Now, sum odd years later, I believe she cannot provide adequate care for our kids. She does not now or ever had a job, the only income she has is from me and her soon to be ex-husband which she is also in a custody battle with... might I add that isn't going well for her. She has moved more than a handfull of times over the past couple of years and is now living with her family, paying no bills, getting food stamps for groceries, yet blowing through the child support money in a few days and asking for more to buy the kids things... for example the last exuse was socks... and I don't mind giving her money for the kids if it is really needed, but then the next time I see her she is in new, very expensive clothing. I wouldn't care about how expensive her things are but... how can she buy her things when she can't buy the kids socks? I think she is using the child support money... well... to support herself and leaving the kids wanting and needing things. My youngest son, which is 6, has failed kindergarten because he missed too many days of school, he has son anger issues and also has a very foul mouth when he doesn't get is way, and I can't help but to think her "I don't care" attitude and her lack of discipline has something to do with it simply because he doen't act as harsh or violent when he is with me. I have a stable home, I'm finacially able to provide care and I very much want my kids. Now to my question... If I took this to court and tried to get custody... what are my chances in getting my kids?

You need to go to family court and prove that her life and finances are unstable. Prove that the kids are not doing good, not being provided for properly, and you want to file for full or joint custody. Tell them that she lied to you about you not being allowed to have the kids.

Do you pay the child support to her directly?

I would contact an attorney first. Are you want to get physical custody of the kids? Or just have the status changed?

I do pay her child support directly each month and I do want to get custody of my kids... as of right now I get them every other weekend from Friday evening till Sunday evening, and she threatens to take that away when I don't pay her the extra money and because she says she doen't trust my wife or 4 years. My kids love my wife and used to feel a lot closer to her... then my ex began to "poison" them against her saying that that wasn't their mother and they don't have to respect her and she was mean for having the rules we do, they don't seem "mean" to me. All we ask is clean your own mess, don't fight or yell, and no running in the house. My wife and I have two kids together and even at the ages of 3 and to the don't have a problem with the rules.

Don't pay the extra. Let her threaten all she wants. If you are paying the court ordered amount - then what can she do. And the visitation is probably set up through the court and can't be taken away. If she stops you from seeing your kids, call the police and show that she is violating a court order.

Be proactive and take her back to court. Fight for your kids.

I agree with Nowwhat you should not pay extra especially if she is putting her material needs first. You need to pay what is in the court order and wait to see what the Judge says.
Whenever you do pay extra you should save proof because that will always be in your favor in court if she tries to say you aren't doing your part.

Where was your attorney during the divorce? Why were you believing your ex and not confirming this with your attorney?

As to what your chances are, we can't predict what a judge will do. On the face of it you have a good case. But I hope this time you get a good attorney to help you through this.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdwhite29

My ex-wife has full legal and physical custody of our two boys because when we got a divorce she led me to believe that a father couldn't get full or even joint custody in the state of Mississippi. Now, sum odd years later, I believe she cannot provide adequate care for our kids. She does not now or ever had a job, the only income she has is from me and her soon to be ex-husband which she is also in a custody battle with... might I add that isn't going well for her. She has moved more than a handfull of times over the past couple of years and is now living with her family, paying no bills, getting food stamps for groceries, yet blowing thru the child support money in a few days and asking for more to buy the kids things... for example the last exuse was socks.... and I don't mind giving her money for the kids if it is really needed, but then the next time I see her she is in new, very expensive clothing. I wouldn't care about how expensive her things are but... how can she buy her things when she can't buy the kids socks? I think she is using the child support money... well... to support herself and leaving the kids wanting and needing things. My youngest son, which is 6, has failed kindergarten because he missed too many days of school, he has son anger issues and also has a very foul mouth when he doesn't get is way, and I can't help but to think her "I don't care" attitude and her lack of discipline has something to do with it simply because he doen't act as harsh or violent when he is with me. I have a stable home, im finacially able to provide care and I very much want my kids. Now to my question.... If I took this to court and tried to get custody... what are my chances in gettin my kids??

You have to prove she inst a good mother ,and can't or won't take care of the kids
The right way , just because you gave her the child support,money doesn't mean she has to prove to you where she spending it ?
I would say you need to keep a diary of events, and go from there,
I woud l file a motion of , unfit mother , but you better have proof, real black /white, or these kids could end up in care .
Its your own fault you didn't get al l the info you needed back then '. But you need to hire a lawer ,and fast