The original story:
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ce-166149.html
Or long story short:
-- I'm 27, she's 26. I was in a 1 year 8 month relationship with a girl I really liked, but never shared emotions and nit-picked so much I caused her to walk on egg shells. On her part, she was stubborn, which she readily admits all the time, but she's gotten better over time. Anyway, she dumped me 8 days before Christmas, asking for space.
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THE STORY
So I gave her space, left her alone, no calls or messages or anything. During the holiday weekend, she was to be moving into a new apartment, sharing rent with a guy who was 28. I knew about this while we were going out. She needed to save money and sharing rent is a good way to do it, so I supported her. Plus, this guy wasn't great looking, so I wasnt afraid of her leaving me for him.
Anyway, after we broke up (she was tired of me being so cold to her and acting in a way that had her walking on egg shells), she spent about 7 days alone or with friends/family. She never talked to or saw this guy until she moved into her new apartment. On the day she moved in, she kissed him, which sparked a romantic involvement with him. They almost went all the way on he first day she moved in, but she stopped it because she thought they were moving too fast (she didnt think this before?).
The next day she had her period, so that stopped anything else from happening. But on Sunday was more of the same. She gave oral. But after that, he started asking weird things, getting freaky, telling her things that made her uneasy.
The next day, he started wigging out about odd things. He owned a vacuum that was 5 years old that belonged to an old ex-gf he was really sentimental about... and it broke she she used it and he got MAD! There were so many items in his house that he was sentimental about just like that, all involving former exes. She suggested they stop seeing each other romantically, and he retorted that if she backs out of a possible relationship, he will kick her out, throw all her stuff onto the road, and keep her rent (she paid January already). So she pretended to stay interested for the time being.
On Christmas, he gave her a 400 dollar diamond necklace. She didnt want it, but he got mad when she said that, so she took it and put it in her room. He also kept calling her phone all the time, asking "where she was" and "what she was doing". When he called, she would answer her phone with "hi", he would respond with those 2 questions right away. He was controlling and demanding about many things such as this.
Nearly 2 weeks after we broke up, and 1 week since she had been with this guy, i sent her a myspace message, telling her i had time to think and I was ready for a conversation, but ONLY if she was ready too. i had no idea that any of the above happened. She cried hard in the apartment after she read my message, which he heard and got mad about. He then forced her to write that she was "in love" with someone else, and for me to go away. I thought this was odd, not sounding like her, but i couldnt question it at the time. I just assumed it was true. I cried and said "ok, ill move on".
That whole day, my entire family cheered me up. And that night, while with my family, she sent me a text message saying she HAD to talk to me. I didnt know what to do, my family said "no dont", but I did anyway. i called but she said she couldnt answer, and she will call later. She did call later, and asked to meet me at a store.
I went to the store, she was there. She told me this whole story right then, EVERYTHING, said she was "stuck between a rock and a hard place", and that she couldnt call me because he would threaten her. She had to sneak out just now, thats why she had to meet at a neutral location. She wanted my advice on what to do. i told her that she had to get the hell out of there asap. she was very weary about that idea because she couldnt afford to, but i eventually managed to convince her that her safety was more important, and everything else will figure itself out in the end.
During our convo, he called asking what she was doing and where she was, and if she was with anybody. this proved his controlling nature. He worked midnight shifts, and was working that night. So I called my Mother, and with no questions asked (i love my mom) she came over and the three of us moved all of her stuff out of the apartment. We stayed at my Mom's house that night (i live in another state, 1+ hour away, with people, couldnt go there).
She was amazed that I helped her despite everything that happened and what she had done. I told her we were broken up, so it's not like she cheated on me, but that I was disappointed with her decisions... BIG TIME... but she needed support at that point in time more than a verbal beating. I care about her, i always have. That's why I did it.
Anyway, her family got REALLY MAD, and "disowned" her. I figured they would. The guy she moved in with (who was only supposed to be a room mate) called and called and threatened her. So we went to the sherriffs department, and the cop called the guy right in front of us, and told him to stop, no contact, etc. It was about a 15-20 minute phone call. She wasn't getting her rent money back because there was no written contract (DUMB), but I took the necklace he gave her for Christmas, so we can sell it on ebay and get her money back that way.
We also found a new apartment for her to live. A nice place, rent is only a little higher. She's happy now. I helped her a lot. I stayed at her place the first night, and we had make up sex, which was pretty much the best ever! We are back together again.
This all happened in like... 24 hours.
I feel like people will criticize me for my decision to get back with her, and for her with me. But we've had a GREAT relationship for all this time. We complete each other, but we had our little short comings that slowly forced us apart. We agreed to go to couple's theorapy the next chance we get. My family is supportive of my decisions, her family isn't.
So... what do you think? Sorry so long.
