My wife and I are getting divorced and our only disagreement is the custody of our son. I cannot hardly stand to be away from him for more than a day and she has suggested that we agree on joint custody with him seeing me only 5 days a month. I believe she truly loves him and wants what is best for him but her personal history leads me to believe that she could not raise a child without hurting him in the end. She is on prescription medication for anxiety and depression and is constantly on and off it creating huge mood swings that I know he sees and I fear she will try to put him on medication before too long to help her cope with her own problems. Her financial situation has always been rocky owing almost as much as she makes per month and claiming everything is OK. She has filed for bankrupsy before and seems to be heading down that same road again. She has been posting ad's on the internet basically for submissive ( kinky ) sex even before the marriage was over and claims that what my sons does not know about cannot hurt him. There are other things but would any of these circumstances play into who gets custody of him? I hate to think of him growing up in that environment and being powerless to help him by order of the courts. Before custody is given to any person can I ask for supervised visitation for her?
I am meeting with a lawyer this week to discuss all this but am looking for some more outside help. I have never had any dealings with the court in any way is it possible to hire more than one attorney ?

Any help would be appreciated thanks,
D

She sounds, by your description to be a train wreck trying to happen. Yes, you can stipulate supervised visits, but you would need to be the primary caregiver. Your lawyer can help get everything going. Be prepared for some uncomfortable happenings. I think you can have as many lawyers as you can afford. Her financial status could limit what quality of representation she can afford.

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Originally Posted by mrman78

My wife and I are getting divorced and our only disagreement is the custody of our son. I cannot hardly stand to be away from him for more than a day and she has suggested that we agree on joint custody with him seeing me only 5 days a month. I believe she truly loves him and wants what is best for him but her personal history leads me to believe that she could not raise a child without hurting him in the end. She is on prescription medication for anxiety and depression and is constantly on and off of it creating huge mood swings that I know he sees and i fear she will try to put him on medication before too long to help her cope with her own problems. Her financial situation has always been rocky owing almost as much as she makes per month and claiming everything is ok. She has filed for bankrupsy before and seems to be heading down that same road again. She has been posting ad's on the internet basically for submissive ( kinky ) sex even before the marriage was over and claims that what my sons does not know about cannot hurt him. There are other things but would any of these circumstances play into who gets custody of him? I hate to think of him growing up in that environment and being powerless to help him by order of the courts. Before custody is given to any person can i ask for supervised visitation for her?
I am meeting with a lawyer this week to discuss all this but am looking for some more outside help. I have never had any dealings with the court in any way is it possible to hire more than one attorney ?

any help would be appreciated thanks,
D

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Usually the mother is awarded the child but in a case as yours, it seems she being an unfit mother, you my be awarded your son but you would need a good lawyer a winning lawyer that would dig back into her past and see if he can find other negative things about your ex wife. Your back ground must be clean and no other woman should be in the picture till this is over and you and your son are reunited. The man always stands the jerks, so be prepared to give something in return.

Hello man:

The thing you should know, is that in the law, there are no absolutes.

You have one lawyer on one side arguing one set of circumstances, and one on the other saying the exact opposite. The judge, who may himself have a hag for a wife, might agree with you. Or you could get a female judge who kind of likes kinky sex. I don't know.

The other thing you should know, is that a divorce proceeding usually lasts as long as the participants bank accounts do. There's always ways to stretch things out. And, at $275/hr (not an unreasonable amount for a divorce attorney), it adds up fast. You'll probably be paying for her attorney too, by the way.

Plus, as much as I believe every word you said about her, I'll bet she has a story about you too. Yeah, yeah. I know, you're mr wonderful... Ok, I'm not the one you have to convince.

It seems to me that you're not totally in the toilet as far as negotiations go. If you can reach some accommodation that doesn't quite meet your goals, but that doesn't quite meet hers either, then I would try very, very hard to do it.

Actually, you should be arguing from the Child's perspective... Although most divorcing parents THINK they are, most aren't.

excon