Some tips to help people let go of their loved one.
I would like to bring you up to the next stage of my journey - and possibly the hardest part, letting go. I've let go in the physical sense, namely no contact, putting all his love letters and photos in a box, removing chat history and text messages. Now it's time for my brain and emotions to catch up and let go too. If you are at this point after your break up, come and walk this road with me:
Letting go of the uncontrollables and unchangeables in life is the:
Admitting the obvious truth - that you are not responsible to affect a change or correct a problem which is beyond your competency, power, authority or responsibility.
Releasing over-responsibility - giving permission to yourself to be free from an overresponsible sense of obligation, duty, or requirement to make everything "perfect'' in your life and the life of others.
No perfectionism - Allowing yourself to rid yourself of the perfectionistic need to control every aspect of your life so that nothing goes ``wrong'' in it.
Getting rational about what you can and cannot do - becoming realistic about what is and is not your obligation or duty to correct, change, or control.
Releasing self to "no" - allowing yourself to be able to say "no'' or "I can't'' when faced with insurmountable problems out of your reach.
Confessing faith in God- Openly declare that God, your "Higher Power" is stronger and a great source of power to whom you can hand over these things out of your control.
Accepting your powerlessness - over things and handing these things over to your Higher Power.
Handing it over to God - which is no longer taking direct action to effect a change but handing the situation over to the goodness and mercy of your Higher Power in hope that the solution will rest in the Higher Power's authority and wisdom.
Declaring God is in Charge - admitting that you can only do so much and after that it is up to your Higher Power to take over.
Realistic acceptance of loss - after fully grieving a loss admitting that there is nothing left to be done but to accept the loss and hand the loss from this point on over to your Higher Power's care and love.
Surrender: Problem solving conclusion - culmination of extensive problem solving, brainstorming, and testing alternatives with the final conclusion that you can do nothing to change the circumstances of the issue out of your reach and control and that it would be saner and more realistic to free your energy up by surrendering and letting go of the issue and handing it over to your Higher Power.
Extracted from Let Go by James J. Messina, Ph.D. & Constance Messina, Ph.D
