Soon it will be a year that I am with this man. He is a good person at heart, but we seem to have different personalities. I am very out going and spontaneous. I enjoy going out and enjoying and discoverying different things. Whereas the boyfriend is just totally BORING!! ANd I cannot take it anymore... I do not know how to address him my unhapiness. I tell myself if I am not content why keep this going on, just drop him. However at the same time I do have some emotional attachement. I have tried to addressed the subject earlier in the relationship but I do not think he fully understood me cause he is doing it all wrong again!
I do think he senses me a bit indifferent towards him now and that my mind might be wondering about other man, but its normal he BORES ME!! :mad:
AS I said he is a willing person just doesn't always find the energy to do much...
I tell myself if its like this now its going to be worse later and that's not what I want to end up with...

So how should I get my message clear to this man?

Has he been checked for depression? How old is he?

You can't change someone from who they are. Also, check this out:

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...bt-166433.html

Hi Cass
Well I really think you just need to discuss this with him , you are obviously thinking of leaving him otherwise you wouldn't be asking these questions. Give him a chance , let him know how you feel and then the ball is in his court.

I feel for you what your going through. I myself was kind of in the same relationship, my ex boyfriend didn't really didn't want to do much. He was happy being by himself and just hanging out at home. It didn't get any better, it got worse. I tried myself addressing to him also what bothered me, but he didn't change. This is who they are, this is their make up. You can't change them. I was starving emotionally because he was unavailable. In the long run he broke up. If its not working I would suggest moving on to someone who can share their life with you.. Good luck..

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Originally Posted by cassandrita

he is doing it all wrong again!

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The two of you may indeed be incompatible, but if you think it's because "he is doing it all wrong", you have some major relationship lessons yet to learn. You can learn these lessons from him, or from the next boyfriend, or the one after that...

Stop blaming him for your unhappiness. Its origin is within you, and it is yours alone to address. Your irritation with how "he is doing it" is distracting you from the more important work of finding the real cause of your boredom, impatience and discontent.

One thing for sure its you who are responsible for your happiness, not him. He is who he is, and even after a year, why are you staying with someone YOU are not happy with?

I see that this could be like two stories;

Number one: You are a happy person when you're on your own but the time you spend with him isn't fun enough for you because you are more active and he maybe just wants to sit at home and watch TV and cuddle, not go out dancing or go for long walks.

The truth with this one is that; He is who he is and if you can't always love and accept the personality he has then you two aren't right for each other.

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Number two, you don't have fun when you're on your own either, now that's a different problem which only you can change, that's not his problem.

Hope this helped.

If I am your boyfriend... I can actually post the same post you posted here, you know?

He wants to be homely. You want to hang out often. So u two talked and agreed on something. But after a few weeks or months, it is back to normal.

Is there a way to make you more homely and less outgoing? If not, do NOT expect your boyfriend to be able to change into more spontaneous. He is just as human as u. It is his upbringing and no one can change that, even he cannot change himself for sure.

Like what the others suggested in their answers, I agree that you two are not compatible for each other. The reason you are still with him is probably you are afraid to be alone. But do not be unfair to this man for he deserves to lead a life he wants. Stop thinking of other men if you want this "boring" man to continue to be in your life. If not, then stop thinking of changing others just to suit yourself. It is not wrong to love home and laze at his own pace.

Find happiness by seeking the right man, not making right the wrong man.

Check this: How to Break Up With Someone - Breakups & divorce - Revolution Health

Learn to be content.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by simoneaugie

Has he been checked for depression? How old is he?

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I asked myself many times for depression... but nothing seems clear... he is 27 years old