Well, Here is my story... I am 10 weeks pregnant with my 4th child. I am 23 years old and my children are my life. I will have to say my 4th was unexpected and by a man a barely knew. I know that sounds bad, but after weeks went by, I got to know him a little better. I found out I was pregnant at almost 3 weeks. He says it is not his (even though I was around him ALL the time during the conception time.) I had a boyfriend at the time and I broke up with him because of it. Now I am seeing my ex to whom has been a friend of the family and in love with me for 10 years. He accepts all three of my children and my unborn. TJ, the unborn baby's father says he wants to be there when I have the baby but don't want to go through Dr. appointments or anything else. My boyfriend wants to be there as well, I don't mind them both being there because one will be my support and keep me calm, but the other is the biological father, I just don't want them to be uncomfortable. Can someone give me advice?

I think it is wonderful that your children are so precious to you. Some parents just don't ever allow themselves to be that in love with their little ones. But since you do love them so much, you must make some healthy (emotionally healthy) choices for yourself and for their future.

If this man says this baby is not his, why does he want to be at the birth? You are the one who will be going through the pain of childbirth, you are the one who will have carried this baby for the 9 months time and feel it move inside of you, form dreams of that new baby's future, have desires for this new ones life, worry about the health of the baby, you are the one who will go to the doctor appointments, etc. It is kind of you not to want them to be uncomfortable but I think it is important that you are the one who is comfortable.

If the father of the baby acknowledged the baby as his in the beginning but you and the father of the baby dated for awhile and found that you were not suited for each other and then you were dating another person, I can sort of understand him wanting to be there.

Who is the father of the other three? Is he in the picture? For the sake of the children, yourself and others, I think you should search your heart, decide who you are in love with and who is in love with you, who you want to have a future with and cut all ties with the others as early as possible. (I am not saying cut ties with someone who is a great friend and will give you comfort during childbirth, just saying I believe you need some clear cut boundaries in your life to give you and your children stability.) Perhaps you try to please too many people too much of the time. This is not a bad quality in someone unless it interferes with making good choices for yourself and your children.

Is the ex you are now seeing, the one you broke up with after getting pregnant by the man who says he is not the baby's father or someone who is just a good friend through the years? If he is in love with you, I believe you need to search your heart to know if you are in love with him and if not, let him know that before he gets so attached to the kids and they to him.

Is there a possibility the father will want custody of your new child once it is born? There are many issues here. I know some of the relationship experts will have some good suggestions for you later. Just don't worry about the two guys being comfortable, set your priorities and stick to them as to what is best for you and your existing children and the little one on the way. Best to you! If the pic I see is of your children, they sure do look happy, loved and precious. You are truly blessed.

Yes, my children are VERY precious to me. I was with someoe else when I got pregnant,not my boyfriend now. The father of my two oldest is my ex husband whom is an awsome Dad. The father of my youngest is m ex fiancé, we tried and tried to make it work, it just didn't. He is in Iraq now, and never got real attached to my youngest son. My unborn child's father, Honestly, I met him at a bar one night when I was having trouble with rent and fiancés, I had a little too much to drink... and well... we became good friends afterwards, when I told him I was pregnant, he stopped hanging around and decided he wants to be at the birth because "if it is his" he don't want to miss it. I love my boyfriend I have now, and I know I want him there to comfort me, but it is only fair that the father be there too.

Hi there! Thank you for clarifying. Does your current boyfriend have a problem with the father of the baby being at the birth? If not, then there should not be any reason for either of them being uncomfortable. But my concern is still for you. Are you going to be comfortable with both of them being present? Has the father asked for a paternity test? That might resolve the issue and give clarity for all concerned. Just a thought.

"Irunawayfromlove"... could you explain a little bit why you chose this name? Perhaps this might shed some light on this situation. Please, don't feel you have to if you would rather not.

I am needing to get a little sleep now but I will check this thread tomorrow to read your reply. You have a good rest of the night and take care. Beautiful kids, just beautiful. :)

Unfortunately you've got a recipe for disaster here. When push comes to shove, the rights of the biological father trump those of the ex you're currently dating. And on a more personal note I think you need to address the issues that lead you constantly from one man to another. Your screen name says it all. Keep in mind that one of the responsibilities of a parent is to model healthy, stable relationships for the kids to emulate. Right now I don't think you're doing that.

My current boyfriend is so sweet he wouldn't even tell me if he did. I have no idea. I just know the fathers temper and I don't see it going well. But I am really big on giving the father every chance to be apart of everything even if we aren't together. The father wanted a paternity test when I told him, he wants it done before the baby is born. I checked with my Dr. and he said it is not safe and he would not give me permission. So, the state is getting one when the baby is born. My name pretty much explains itself. I do run away from love, have since my ex husband broke my heart over and over until 2005. Thank you very much , they all have that blonde hair and blue eyes, not from me. I lucked out. If you want, I can send you more pictures, somehow. Thank you , also, for your time. Goodnight

Might I add, now that I saw the last comment... My children are happy and healthy, they see everyone that is in our lives as friends, I don't show any more than that unless it is serious. They have A lot of happy healthy relationships in their life with family and what I do behind closed doors when my children are at my best friends house on very rare occasion, they have no idea about. I do however need to work on my relationship and love issues, but it is not affecting my kids... I fixed my depression, that was affecting my kids, my question was about the father and my boyfriend being in the room during birth, not about how I mother my children. I am sorry, I think I may have had a mood swing, but I felt slightly offended.