For those of you who read my earlier question "Jealous boyfriend, cheating girlfriend", thanks for your answers. I talked with my boyfriend already, and I let him know how much his jealousy was bothering me. However, he thinks that there is absolutely nothing wrong with him being so jealous this time around, being that all his ex girlfriends all cheated on him, including myself about 6 months ago. He thinks that it's all right for him to want to control my every move because that way he's going to be sure that I won't cheat on him again and that he feels comfortable like that. I told him that it's very unhealthy for our relationship and that I want to work things out for the best of everything. I even suggested going to a therapist to get professional advice on how to control his anger when he's jealous and how to control his jealousy. That didn't go well at all! He got furious and said that he would never go "to those people" because he's not crazy. I explained that psychologists aren't just for people that have mental difficulties, but to consult with people and give advice. My boyfriend still refuses to seek for any counseling help, but I feel like our relationship is coming to an end. I don't want that to happen and neither does my boyfriend. He agrees that he is way too jealous and that he wants to help himself to control it, but doesn't know how. What can I do to help him (and myself) deal with this whole issue? How can we work this out without the need of a therapist?? PLEASE HELP!

Break up? Or at least separate for a short period. Here's why:

Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. He's not happy with himself as he could be. He doesn't know himself too well. He doesn't love himself at all. The only way he can learn these things, is by being alone and getting to know himself first.

In all honesty, jealousy isn't something that you can just snap your fingers and make it go away. Counceling probably IS the best solution if you want to try to stay together and work through it. I wouldn't be shocked to hear the councelor ask you guys to separate and have no contact for 2-3 weeks though.


EDIT: Oh... you cheated on him. OK nm, the relationship is doomed. Trust is lost and can never be replaced. You need trust for a relationship to work. No trust? No relationship.

I won't cheat on him again?

If you had sex with anouther person whill you wher with him. IT Isn't JEALOUSE! Look it sounds like the relation ship is over for some time. It is hard to ever forget that someone you love betrayed you. He may never forgive or forget. It isent jealouse it 's ANGER!

I have to agree with wayne in some way, if you cheated on him you must see the seriousness in that.. you probably hurt him real bad, and the fact that he's been cheated on before really makes this even worse. Like I was told in my other thread: once you've actually started being suspicious about your partners every moves it's sort of... too late. Chances are he will never trust you and you on the other hand of course can't stay in a relationship with someone who has to try to control you to make it all work, cause that won't do it's trick.

"he wants to help himself to control it, but doesn't know how." Not. He needs to hear this from someone other than you. He appears to be refusing help, otherwise.

I'm sorry, but I think this relationship is over and ended the day you cheated. At least it would have been if I had been in his shoes. I very rarely say this but I think it's time to break up so that each of you can move on into other and (hopefully) healthier relationships.

Sorry, your looking for the easy way out, and that won't work. He will say anything for you to stay, and do nothing to help this unhealthy relationship get better, and you sure can't since you are as unhealthy as he is. GET OUT and GET HEALTHY.

It takes a long time to build trust , but it only takes suspicion , not facts to destroy it.

Sorry but with no trust a relationship can never last.

Neither of you wants it enough to do what it takes, forget it.

You better get out. Once you cheated on someone who is a Jelouse person. He will never trust you..

I would leave. Because he won't froget that and will never trust you.. if women keep cheating on him. He is going for the wrong typ


Regards