Potential Relationship Killer
Hi all I am new. I was surfing online trying to find thoughts on my issue and here I am.
I am 28, divorced, and a single mom. So I don't take relationships lightly. To summarize, I am in the beginning stages of a relationship with an old school friend. Ten years ago we were very close, flirted... cute together... and then I ended up marrying someone else. Well I am divorced and we are now becoming close once again only in a much more serious way.
He seems too good to be true. I'm a cynic, I admit that. Our families have been close for our entire lives. Our brothers are best friends, literally, and our mothers are very close as well. We have a history of growing up together, being friends, then becoming interested in one another. Then the gap, and now... here we are, stirring up old feelings in a much more adult way.
The only real fly in the ointment... I do not even know if it IS one. It may be paranoia on my part. He likes to go out drinking with his friends. From what I've seen, it averages once a week. He goes out, gets drunk, goes home (cab or a ride from a friend or walks) and goes to bed. He's not a mean drunk, or abusive, or passing out drunk. I am simply sensitive to this area as a potential for trouble. I know that if we were to become serious I would have a problem with his weekly getting drunk. If it was just weekly hanging with the guys, watching football, having a few beers... that'd be different. But we're both 28 and he admits he "Gets totally wasted." Not what I want to hear. I have yet to say a word about this to him.
I won't get any deeper into a relationship with him if this IS going to be a problem. I'm not totally sure what constitutes a problem? Am I being oversensitive, or is this weekly binge a real potential for trouble? In college he had a major problem, drinking a ton, in private, passing out. He sees his once weekly binges as a huge improvement on college. And it IS... or is it? Should he really be doing this? We're 28, we're adults, and he does want a baby. For me to even consider moving forward with him these things must be dealt with.
So, what does everyone think?