I had been dating this girl for 1 year and 8 months now. I recently took a job in Killington, Vermont. She's still in New York, and although she cried and cried on the phone about the distance, it really wasn't all that bad. We started getting used to it.
Anyway, I wasn't a great boyfriend. I never cheated on her or saw other girls, but I liked talking to them now and then. The farthest I've ever gone is getting a number, but I never called it. I don't know why I did it. For the attention maybe?
Anyway, it's because of actions like that, and what I said, that drove her further and further away. I told her I loved her... which was a HUGE step for me (back in August), and only said it about 6-7 times since. It's very hard for me to say. I really wanted to wait until I got engaged to say it. But also, she'd go to kiss me, and id push away. Or she would try to hug me, and id push away. All I wanted was for her to chase me a little, be a little playful and FORCE a kiss of hug, then I'd for sure give one back. :)
Anyway, she recently moved to a new place in New York. Last week (the 20th) was her birthday. I've never gotten jewelry for a girl before (I'm 27, isn't that sad?) but I ended up buying her this REALLY NICE heart necklace with diamonds in it. Looks good! I really wanted to surprise her for her Birthday. For Christmas, I don't know what I was going to get. But the necklace was a big step for me as well.
Anyway, she ended up dumping me on Sunday, 4 days before her birthday, and 8 days before Christmas. We talked that day and the next 2 days. We were both crying profusely. She told me "I'm sick of not knowing where I stand in your life" -and- "I know you aren't in love with me." -and- "I deserve better treatment"... she does, I agree. I was starting to come around and treat her better since her grandfather died... the really opened my eyes for some reason. But that's too little too late. The last time we talked, she asked me to give her space. I've read other threads on this forum, OK I get what that means now. I sent her 1 text message on Christmas Eve, asking her to call. She responded with a MySpace message saying she still needed space. That's the last time I tried to contact her.
So here's where I'm at. The pain has gone away, and I started eating again. I lost a lot of weight, and started working out to get her off my mind. It's not easy, she's the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last before I go to sleep. I've been writing in a journal too, which has helped keep me from calling her. I keep staring at the phone though, waiting for it to ring. Im such a sap. I still have her necklace. I also bought a card to mail to her... but haven't sent it out yet. I don't know if I should anymore.
So that's that. I'd love to hear some opinions! If you have questions, feel free to ask, and I shall respond when I see them. Ty.