My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. And the sex life was great in the begginning, now that we have been together for a while now its kind have just been pushed to the side. I have a very high sex drive and enjoy trying new things and in new places, but we only have sex once a week and its usually Friday or Saturday right before we are going to bed. Ive tried to think of new things to get him excited or to turn him on. I feel like he just isn't attracted to me anymore or something. I just don't know what to do anymore.. And I've thought about going and getting a vibrator for myself but I just don't like that as much as the real thing. What do I do please help!!

Uh huh... how old is your boyfriend? Does he work? Does he play sports... etc?

He may just be exhausted... or he may want this relationship to be more than about sex.

I'd talk to him about it, see what he says.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

uh huh...how old is your boyfriend? does he work? does he play sports...etc?

he may just be exhausted...or he may want this relationship to be more than about sex.

i'd talk to him about it, see what he says.

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My boyfriend is 22. Yes he works he lays tile for a living.. and no he really isn't into many sports... and I understand that he may want this relationship to be more than just sex but I'm going crazy.. I have talk to him also and he says he just doesn't want it anymore and he doesn't know what's wrong with him...

Yeah... this happens pretty often. From what I gather... there are a few things:

1. he has someone else on the side
2. he has a clinical issue (depression, anxiety, etc)
3. he "just isn't into you anymore"
4. the "spark" is now gone
5. both of you have gotten into a "routine"

If 1, then... leave
If 2, seek help
3, 4, and 5, people here will tell you... to try some new things. Plan a nice cozy dinner... good food... wine... etc. after trying, if it doesn't work, then perhaps you two should spend some time apart to see if he will miss you and the "spark" will return.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

yeah...this happens pretty often. from what i gather...there are a few things:

1. he has someone else on the side
2. he has a clinical issue (depression, anxiety, etc)
3. he "just isn't into you anymore"
4. the "spark" is now gone
5. both of you have gotten into a "routine"

if 1, then...leave
if 2, seek help
3, 4, and 5, people here will tell you...to try some new things. plan a nice cozy dinner...good food...wine...etc. after trying, if it doesn't work, then perhaps you two should spend some time apart to see if he will miss you and the "spark" will return.

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For question 1 I know he isn't cheating on me, that isn't him and when he isn't at work he is with me
For question 2 he does have a lot on his plate right now, very stressed and we both are with what is going on right now.
And for 3 and 4 I don't know that could be the case but why can't he just tell me that then instead of saying that he loves me and wants to be with me for forever.
And for 5 that is the case but I try to get out of the routine like having sex in the morning or something different..

I'm not talking about just straight up sex... but do something different. Plan a dinner. Maybe a picnic? Anything OTHER than sex that might lead to sex.

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

im not talking about just straight up sex...but do something different. plan a dinner. maybe a picnic? anything OTHER than sex that might lead to sex.

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K I can try that thank you! Any other suggestions I can try??

The initial excitement of being with a new sex partner wears off... perhaps this is what is happening... and the hum drum of everyday life has set in.

You will have to get the courage to get him to talk to you frankly... his answer may be one or a combination of reasons that you don't want to hear. When you talk, don't cry or fly off the handle. Be mature.

In my opinion, there is no reason to spend too much time with a man who you have no future with(marriage).


Good Luck! :)

You might be incompatible... you say you want to and like to try new things all the time... and apparently he doesn't.

Trust me in a year isn't time enough to get bored. Me and my wife have a large variety of tricks that either or both of us likes. We are going on 17 years of marriage and its better now than the first year as she was pretty closed minded in the beginning.

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Originally Posted by lacijo

My boyfriend is 22. yes he works he lays tile for a living.. and no he really isnt into many sports... and i understand that he may want this relationship to be more than just sex but im going crazy.. I have talk to him also and he says he just doesnt want it anymore and he doesnt know whats wrong with him...

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My boyfriend says the Same thing... Let me know if you find something that works...

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Originally Posted by cathosaurus

My boyfriend says the EXACT same thing.... Let me know if you find something that works....

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Yeah... I'm in the same boat. I'm desperately seeking answers as well!

The best way to see if there is a problem is to talk about it with your partner. Do it gently. Unfortuantely these discussions turn into shouting matches,, so just go easy and try to approach the subject in an understanding yet curious attitude.

I've been married 28yrs. I've. Complained for years because my husband never wanted sex as often as I did. He had all kinds of excuses, he worked late until I feel asleep, I begged, nagged, nothing worked. Then last year I got genital warts from my husband. My husband got them from one of the many men he'd slept with the past 7 years! He says he's not gay. He's just a straight man that likes his sucked (yes, I performed oral sex) he says its just sex & by having sex with men he won't risk falling for another woman. It's all BS of course. But beware if your man is making excuses for not having sex. It's not normal for a man to NOT want sex. Trust me, he's having sex, just not with you!

Old post. OP hasn't been here since December.

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