It is the 5th christmas since I started the grad school. Soon I'll turn 28 but am still single, no boyfriend. I met a bunch of boys over the years but none of these became a real relationship. Sometimes I'm curious about how one can even start a relationship with boys in grad school. Sometimes I even start to wonder if there is anything wrong with me:( a man used to tell me, you are cute but you are not sexy. I don't want to sleep with those I don't love or those who just want sex. I used to think it a good thing but gradually I find that I might be wrong--i'm in a small college town and I met so many female grad students over the years. Many of them were single but gradually one by one started to have sex with different men. Then I started to feel like an alien among them as time went by. However, many of them broke up with their boyfriends despite sex--but they still have loved someone or they all think it a good practice... I'm 27 this year and am feeling so scared at night occasionally that I might end up being an old maid forever :( does grad school remove all of the sexiness within a woman? Does education raise a woman's bar for her husband? Does busy schedules lock her away from boys? I am getting frustrated and confused because I'm more afraid that I might lose the ability to love before I meet the right one...

I gushed too much and will shut up for now--but I am really happy to find this great forum!!

As a student, I spend some time in small, college towns. After two or three months, it seemed as if you knew everyone, at least by face. I transferred to a large university and things were much different. I think you need to focus on being places where there will be men who interest you. A hunting or fishing class might work.

Your in school. Get what you came for. You will be surprised that when you get in the real world, there will be many, many men. Be happy with your single self, that will attract happy people into your life, and someone will want to check you out. Its to soon to worry. I applaud your choosing to better yourself.

It's kind of ridiculous for someone to tell you that you're "not sexy"... funny, but ridiculous.

I go to a pretty big university, but yeah, don't sweat it. By the time you get a job, etc. there'll be men climbing over each other to get to you. You're fine.

Thanks george, it is hard to transfer when you are in the stage of grad school--let alone when your program has a good reputation:mad: I tried to meet new people but there are too many under, who are usually too young for me. I really want to take some fun classes, like dancing etc. but my busy schedule usually keeps me away from this

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Originally Posted by George_1950

As a student, I spend some time in small, college towns. After two or three months, it seemed as if you knew everyone, at least by face. I transferred to a large university and things were much different. I think you need to focus on being places where there will be men who interest you. A hunting or fishing class might work.

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talaniman, I feel that I might never get into the real world because I planned to become a professor--i might have to think twice about it--but to switch my career just to find the right man,.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Your in school. Get what you came for. You will be surprised that when you get in the real world, there will be many, many men. Be happy with your single self, that will attract happy people into your life, and someone will want to check you out. Its to soon to worry. I applaud your choosing to better yourself.

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I was not aware of the influence of this word when I hear it from him but it seems that it did make me feel a bit bad...

Like I said, I am really afraid that when I join a uni. As a faculty my social circle will become much smaller...

Guys in my field usually come to grad school after they have found a girlfriend and they change girlfriend during their grad program--what a good world!

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Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny

it's kinda ridiculous for someone to tell you that you're "not sexy"...funny, but ridiculous.

i go to a pretty big university, but yeah, don't sweat it. by the time you get a job, etc., there'll be men climbing over each other to get to you. you're fine.

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Originally Posted by cutiewitchie

talaniman, i feel that i might never get into the real world because i planned to become a professor--i might have to think twice about it--but to switch my career just to find the right man, ...?

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You don't have to switch careers to rub elbows with other academics, such as yourself. I know for a fact they like to party. :eek: What a wild bunch. :D

And why not see about dating a mechanic, or a plumber, a professional does not always have to meet people in their same circles, there are wonderful men ( at 27 they are men not boys) Is there a level or standard for them that you require.

Next many professionals find some dating services like "just lunch" or even internet dating a wonderful way to meet new friends.