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Well I've been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. We were very serious and I even moved in with him. Well lately he's been acting really strange and distant. And I found out Saturday by checking his myspace that he was meeting another girl at the mall. Well so I investigated this and found out that they started talking weeks ago and she's his old crush from high school. We've only had the internet for 1 month and this is what happenend. He also ran the phone bill up (wich I pay for) by texting her hundreds of times and went over his minutes. I am so hurt and confused right now. It seems like he wanted me to find out but why at christmas? :( he says for the past 3 months he's been wanting to break up. He's 20 (im 22) and says he's scared of being with one girl his whole life. But he claims he really loves and will never stop loving me. That I'm the girl he wants to spend his life with he just needs a break. What should I do? He says he doesn't want to date the girl (if he did I would never forgive him) but it just seems so coincidental that this all happens when he's cheating on me. He only talked to her a lot and kissed her once. He's never cheated on anyone before ever. And we've both been cheated on before. I saw that he told her he will forever regret not dating her in high school. I don't know what to do! I love him with all my heart but this is all just too much. Do you think he wants space or to date her or what? Is he to young for a serious relationship? Should I move on? Every guy I've ever dated always cheats on me. I'm a very attractive girl and couldve easily cheated on him but I didn't. Should I expect this? Do all guys cheat?::confused:

No, all guys don't cheat, but if you are that attractive and 2 years older than him, I would move on. I'm 20 as well, and I differ from my friends in that I would love to start relationship at any time that would eventually turn serious. A lot of guys don't think that way however. I would just end it, personally, I know its hard, but if he's meeting another girl, it sounds over to me. Once a cheater, always a cheater

@ aiyerrc... very true. Once a cheater... always... a cheater.

And no, I don't cheat. Ever. Ever ever. Had the opportunity to, and didn't do it. Now... you pay for... pretty much all his stuff... why? Seems like the bastard's taking you for granted. If I were you, I'd just leave his . Kissing, by the way, is cheating. Seeing another girl and deliberately hiding it from you... is cheating. He doesn't want "space"... he wants to mess around to test the waters.

Don't wait for his . Just end it. Move on. And don't pay for others' phone services.

Get this loser boy out of your life, and don't look back. Forgive yourself as we all make mistakes, and heal and chalk this up, to the learning experience. Trust me, if you have learned the lesson well, you will make better choices later.

Well I really screwed up. I been talking to him since we split. We've cried and fought and said we still love each other. I'm going over to day to get all my things and my dog. So I told him after today this was it, I will let him go. He said that its to painful to see or talk to me now. But he has hope that one day we could get back together if I forgive him. In like a year or longer because we both have things to work on. We didn't talk enough about our problems and we moved way to fast. Like I moved in with him after only a few months. I feel pathetic because I still am hoping we can be together again. But people can change and time can heal. I'm not going to set around and wait for him but I don't think I will ever stop wishing we could be together. I mean if were meant to be together then one day somehow I guess we will. Is this bad? Will I be able to heal if I feel this way?

When the emotional dust settles, and you accept your being single, and go about loving yourself and making yourself happy, You will heal and want the best for yourself. It will come. Everyone goes through this, some of us hard headed ones more than once, until we learn.

You are right. He is too young for a serious relationship. At least by the way he acted and the things he said, I can tell that commitment is a foreign language in his life dictionary.

Being two years older and a female, you will definitely feel the pinch when the guy you are with is not ready to settle with only one female for the rest of his life. He is not wrong to let you know that he wants to experience more casual relationships. In fact, it is very frank and brave of him to let you know in advance before you consider marrying him.

There is a clear answer here for u... leave him alone and look for a man who is ready to commit. Even if you persuade him to leave the girl and be loyal to you, he will forever regret not knowing other girls before choosing the final one to settle down with. You can be the best girlfriend or the best wife, but he will not believe it until he has "tasted" the world out there. I would say... u knew him too early in life.

Wait till the one-year period that he told you to wait elapse, then see if he is ready yet. If not, by then, I am positive that you will be clear-headed and will know what to do next. Maybe a great man is already knocking hard at your door then.

Sorry to hear you are going through all this. I agree that you are better off without this guy in your life right now. It sounds like he just isn't ready for a serious committed relationship, and all the conversation with the ex sounds suspicious to me.
Just take some time and focus on you right now. Try to stay busy, spend lots of time with friends, just whatever it takes to keep your mind off him. Yes, sometimes people do change and who's to say what might happen in the future. But, don't wait around for someone who isn't mature enough for a relationship, either.
I know it's frustrating when you feel that your relationships aren't working out. But, someday, you will meet a great guy who is your soulmate. Just because this guy didn't work out, don't give up hope! When the time is right, it will happen.
Good luck and hope you feel better soon!

So much on my mind...
Thanks guys for the positive messages. I basically lost all of my friends when I was with him so now ill have to start all over again. Maybe that's best. Because me and him have the same friends. It was one of my supposed friends that hooked him and that girl up. Can you ever have a female friend that is good? My previous boyfriend before him cheated on me with my old best friend.
But at least I will be busy because I'm going to school in January so that should help. It just seems like everyone I've ever trusted in life has let me down. I feel like I was born into a bad karma or there's something about me that attracts the wrong kind of people.
:( I got all of my stuff yesterday and we hugged and he said ill always love you. That is the hardest thing. Because if he says things like that its going to make me wish one day well be again. He may join the marines now and if he does he will definatley grow up and have plenty of time to figure out what he wants in life.
I don't know if ill ever get over him and its scary because I don't want to. After all he's done. Is this normal? I hope these emotions will fade over time.

No, not all guys cheat. Dump this one and find one who doesn't.

There is something to the kind of men you seem to attract. Actually it's the kind you choose, not so much attract. Yes its time to be careful, with whom you share with.

Yeah like that can be real difficult, and confusing. I say that you move on, and no matter how hard it hurts, find yourself, and then let someone who is true find you.

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Originally Posted by xcookiemonstorx

[F]

well ive been in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. we were very serious and i even moved in with him. well lately hes been acting really strange and distant. and i found out saturday by checking his myspace that he was meeting another girl at the mall. well so i investigated this and found out that they started talking weeks ago and shes his old crush from high school. weve only had the internet for 1 month and this is what happenend. he also ran the phone bill up (wich i pay for) by texting her hundreds of times and went over his minutes. i am so hurt and confused right now. it seems like he wanted me to find out but why at christmas? :( he says for the past 3 months hes been wanting to break up. hes 20 (im 22) and says hes scared of being with one girl his whole life. but he claims he really loves and will never stop loving me. that im the girl he wants to spend his life with he just needs a break. what should i do? he says he doesnt want to date the girl (if he did i would never forgive him) but it just seems so coincidental that this all happens when hes cheating on me. he only talked to her a lot and kissed her once. hes never cheated on anyone b4 ever. and weve both been cheated on b4. i saw that he told her he will forever regret not dating her in high school. i dont know what to do! i love him with all my heart but this is all just to much. do you think he wants space or to date her or what? is he to young for a serious relationship? should i move on? every guy ive ever dated always cheats on me. im a very attractive girl and couldve easily cheated on him but i didnt. should i expect this? do all guys cheat?::confused:

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Hi.. well I jut found out about two hours ago my boyfriend was at his friends house and two girls that I hate because of things that happened in our relationship before happened with them. But I told him before that if I ever found out that he's lied or done anything behind my back again I was done forever. We've been dating for over three years but I am only 18 but my relationship maturity is probably as of a 25 year old. But I've been looking for advice on here and saw your post and what you described happened to you is very familiar to me.I just thought mabe we could talk because like you, I've pretty much lost all of my friends and he's been the only thing in my life. But to give you any advice because I've went through this probably over 50 times throughout the past 3 years. So I'm kind of an expert but also an idiot for going back to him. When you love someone with all your heart you just don't want to believe it and want them to be someone they're not. Id really appriciate it if you got back to me. Good luck with everything if not. It takes time but everyday it gets easier