Hi there, this is my first post, so please bear with me.

My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago because I was getting a bit too needy (she broke up with me), and I was absolutely devistated.

Since then however, we've not been doing NC, but we've become friends - not too close so to never get together again. We've been getting to know each other more again but there's always that feeling (from both of us) that we will get back together.

We keep on telling each other that we miss each other, we talk/msn each other every day, and I think that she'd say yes if I suggested that we give it another go.

I'll be seeing her at a New Years Party, and I'm thinking of asking her then. What do other people think? Any ideas on how to get it right?

Thanks in advance,
Alex

You can ask her but don't expect miracles. I think you may be working yourself up for a letdown.

Sorry, pal. Keep looking because you are in charge and responsible for yourself. When you say you are friends, the romantic part is over.

Simple answer, don't ask an ex back.

Keep doing what she asks you to do, since you enjoy being her puppy dog, and get some attention from her, and that's better than none. Right? WRONG! She put you in friendzone, and your still there hoping for more. That's what she wants for you, to still be there, so think, why would she want to change anything when she has what she wants? She is free to see whomever she wants, when she wants, and when its slow, there you are. Now be a good puppy, and do as your told. A real man would have been gone, long gone. You need to know that!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Keep doing what she asks you to do, since you enjoy being her puppy dog, and get some attention from her, and thats better than none. Right? WRONG! She put you in friendzone, and your still there hoping for more. Thats what she wants for you, to still be there, so think, why would she want to change anything when she has what she wants?? She is free to see whomever she wants, when she wants, and when its slow, there you are. Now be a good puppy, and do as your told. A real man would have been gone, long gone. You need to know that!

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That's what you got to love about tal... his sarcasm... AND his blunt comments.

As harsh as it sounds, what he said is true. It's almost like her putting you in the backyard instead of the house, and you just waiting by the porch door "hoping" she'll let you back in... yeah, she'll still feed you, play with you, and give you a bath every now and then, but you and I both know, she's never letting you back in the house.

And when she finds a smaller cuter puppy (not implying that you're not small and cute), you'll be in the backyard staring in sadly while the puppy's getting all the attention.

Just break loose. Run out of that backyard. Terrorize the neighborhood. Do what makes you happy.

When she dumped, she took control of the relationship. Now you're still allowing her to control the relationship and your life by remaining friends and still being there for her. You're only continuing the same needy behavior which cannot be attractive. She knows she still has this control over you and she's using it to help with her own recovery. (I'm not saying she's a horrible person. I'm sure she's a very nice girl but she's continuing to talk to you to probably help with her own feelings of guilt of hurting you.)

Don't let her continue to use you like this even after you've broken up! Take control of your own life. Back away. Move on. Don't be available. Sometimes this'll make them come sniffing back around (if there ever was a chance of getting back together) or she might not. But either way, you'll be farther along in your own recovery and won't continue to elongate your misery and possible humilation.