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-   -   Insecurity with flirting husband (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=165366)

  • Dec 23, 2007, 02:06 PM
    klwindland
    Insecurity with flirting husband
    Insecurity with flirting husband-- my husband has this thing about flirting with every cute waitress that waits on him whether I am around or not. To the point that the waitress starts hitting on him. How should I deal with this. I have spoke to him about how uncomfortable I am with it but he continues to do it. Is it just my insecurities or what?
  • Dec 24, 2007, 08:53 AM
    George_1950
    I don't think insecurity is the right word to describe what it feels like to observe someone with no class. Maybe revulsion?
  • Dec 24, 2007, 08:58 AM
    talaniman
    I agree with George, It may feed your insecurity, but its very bad behaviour. Don't play into it. Stop going to places with waitresses with him, and tell him why. Stick to your guns on this.
  • Dec 26, 2007, 01:35 PM
    lavenderly
    It's a pity that u did not realise his bad behaviour before u got married. Or did he acquire it only after he got married?

    Either way, the small sparks could be fanned into a major flame. Beware of that. Your husband should be sensitive to your discomfort. Remind him every so often about his behaviour. If he ignores u, then u will do better without him.
  • Dec 26, 2007, 01:40 PM
    peggyhill
    Ask your husband how he would feel if it was you flirting with a hot waiter instead. Tell him it's disrespectful and is not acceptable at any time as he is married. Tell him that it makes you feel very sad and disappointed in him. If he continues to do it in spite of knowing that it hurts you, I would drag him to a marriage counsellor if you can. Maybe it will help him look at things from your point of view. Personally, I would probably kick my fiancée really hard in the shins if he ever did that at a restaurant, lol. But, seriously, ask him how he would feel if the situation was reversed iI hope he shapes up soon!
  • Dec 26, 2007, 01:43 PM
    N0help4u
    Often guys claim to flirt with the waitress 'to give them a boost of feeling good about their self' Often I think it is the other way around they want the ego boost by getting flirted back at.
    Often guys that don't have a history of this do it out of 'mid life crisis' and nothing more.
    Watch for other red flags to see if it is more serious than this. In the meantime when he asks where you want to go to eat tell him McDonald's drive through that should tell him something especially if he knows McD ain't your kind of place.

    Also I agree with Peggy about the shoe being on the other foot stuff.

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